“Anniversaries” are a jarring reminder, as if I need one, of Burt’s absence. He was not here to celebrate his birthday, my birthday nor New Year’s, certainly not Valentines Day. In fact, in eight days, I will acknowledge the first year since his passing. On what would have been 35 years from the day weContinue reading “Remembrances”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
The road we travel
Journey is the term of art for all of life’s trials. All of life is a journey. Rather it can be seen as many journeys. In life, we take many trips and some are sun-filled. Others are not. Life twists and turns. There are travails. Those difficult journeys are better taken in community. It’s toughContinue reading “The road we travel”
A journal for the journey
Sometimes, when someone reports they liked one of my posts, I go back and reread it. This takes me back to days or events I may have forgotten. I wish I could conjure the sweet incident I described in Call and Response. I am grateful to get to read about it. It was heartening to learn thatContinue reading “A journal for the journey”
What’s next?
The tears of a widow are different from the tears of the caregiving spouse. There is more silence in which to grieve when the beloved has died. The losses are more finite, more final. The losses while our loved one is still alive but slipping away little by little are just the beginning. I supposeContinue reading “What’s next?”
Always here
Are memories a way of keeping Burt near? His presence remains in my heart, but when I remember where we had been together, it’s as if he were actually with me, not just in spirit. Could I always have practiced this total recall? Was that much always available to me? And where do these memoriesContinue reading “Always here”
Feels good
Pulling out some nice pieces from the dresser, I realize if its got a label, it was a gift from Burt. When I say label, I refer to name brands, like Sigrid Olsen or Jones New York. The clothes that I bought for me tend to be either unknowns or Old Navy. Burt’s gifts toContinue reading “Feels good”
Those last months
Today, thanks to those of you who’ve read my archive of writings in the last few days, I was led to revisit some blog posts from January 2025. These were documenting the last days of our journey. I know that now, so my re-reading was extremely poignant and tearful. I am so grateful for thisContinue reading “Those last months”
Burt’s watch
Love is on the….
Near 42nd, right across the avenue from the NYPL lions, I passed a Lovello “Permanent Jewelry” store. A little down the road, there was a Love Korean Restaurant. At Peacefood Union Sq, I giggled at the Both sign on the restroom door, envisioning couples going in. Not the intent, I know, but isn’t it romantic?Continue reading “Love is on the….”
Love poems
Yesterday, I was looking at some poems I had written. Many of them were love poems written to Burt. The ones that made my eyes tear are dated early in February of last year. I murmured to myself (and maybe to Burt’s photos), I was always writing you love poems.
this is our life 