Waiting for my old cellphone to migrate to the new one gave me an opportunity to catch up with the video of Burt in the rehab. He came home from the facility on February 25th, 2 years to the day before he died at home. The video is just under 7 minutes and in itContinue reading “Video memory”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
My ChiGong class
My balance, strength, mobility and endurance are all subject to challenges these days. It’s an aging-not-so-well thing. Many of us oldsters are fairing better. I attend a ChiGong (or, you may know it as QiGong) class with the goal of righting my ship of state. It is a gentle exercise protocol that calls for balance.Continue reading “My ChiGong class”
Step by step
It occurs to me in passing that I no longer walk normally down steps. Its a thought that comes to me as I see a young woman pick her way downstairs. On its heels, the memory that Burt would warn me to hold the railing. Don’t be a štarker, he’d said. I guess that translatesContinue reading “Step by step”
It’s one year since Burt passed
Looking at the wedding photos hanging over my kitchen table, I realize that I am beaming. I’m stupid-giddy in these photos. This night, I raise my glass of Polar club soda in a toast to him for that happiest day; then to us both for all the great years we shared. Someone I met whileContinue reading “It’s one year since Burt passed”
Remembrances
“Anniversaries” are a jarring reminder, as if I need one, of Burt’s absence. He was not here to celebrate his birthday, my birthday nor New Year’s, certainly not Valentines Day. In fact, in eight days, I will acknowledge the first year since his passing. On what would have been 35 years from the day weContinue reading “Remembrances”
The road we travel
Journey is the term of art for all of life’s trials. All of life is a journey. Rather it can be seen as many journeys. In life, we take many trips and some are sun-filled. Others are not. Life twists and turns. There are travails. Those difficult journeys are better taken in community. It’s toughContinue reading “The road we travel”
A journal for the journey
Sometimes, when someone reports they liked one of my posts, I go back and reread it. This takes me back to days or events I may have forgotten. I wish I could conjure the sweet incident I described in Call and Response. I am grateful to get to read about it. It was heartening to learn thatContinue reading “A journal for the journey”
What’s next?
The tears of a widow are different from the tears of the caregiving spouse. There is more silence in which to grieve when the beloved has died. The losses are more finite, more final. The losses while our loved one is still alive but slipping away little by little are just the beginning. I supposeContinue reading “What’s next?”
Always here
Are memories a way of keeping Burt near? His presence remains in my heart, but when I remember where we had been together, it’s as if he were actually with me, not just in spirit. Could I always have practiced this total recall? Was that much always available to me? And where do these memoriesContinue reading “Always here”
Feels good
Pulling out some nice pieces from the dresser, I realize if its got a label, it was a gift from Burt. When I say label, I refer to name brands, like Sigrid Olsen or Jones New York. The clothes that I bought for me tend to be either unknowns or Old Navy. Burt’s gifts toContinue reading “Feels good”
this is our life 