My friend ACJ said you got Burt a lot of hats. Well, his grandpa was a haberdasher. The other was a mason, but I never bought him a brick. Burt, it turns out, got me a lot of hats, too. From the selection as I rummaged this morning, I chose the peaky cap he’d gottenContinue reading “Hats!”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Found treasures
If you’ve been following along, you might recall that taking Burt to a park was my favorite project. Burt had always been- not in the flannel shirt/camping way but in the New York City style- an outdoors guy. He loved to walk. He and I loved sitting watching the river traffic pass. We had beenContinue reading “Found treasures”
So many reminders
Thank you, Burton Missing Burt has been a natural if sad pastime; these last couple of months, the memory of him has accompanied me as I once again roam our town. I tread the paths we walked over the years. Yesterday, I felt like he was definitely with me in familiar and some new places.Continue reading “So many reminders”
Once upon a time
Recollecting Burt’s time in the rehab center today gave me a little relief although the memory was hard. The fact that I could affirm that I stood for him when he needed my protection felt good. The nursing home-rehab was not a good place. I would not have placed Burt there over the long haul.Continue reading “Once upon a time”
Got you covered
On Sunday, I wore the hat Burt bought me on the UWS when we were walking on Broadway; it had started to drizzle, no rain just a dampness. He got me a cap at one of those emporia near 72nd Street. It was expensive by my standards of headgear. It was not a street vendor’sContinue reading “Got you covered”
To mourn
I browsed or breezed or picked my way through Lisa Keefauver’s breezy and very useful book on the art and science of mourning. Grief is a Sneaky Bitch is a title with an element of shock even for those like me who never hesitate to curse. Incidentally, if I weren’t inclined to language most foul,Continue reading “To mourn”
In the end
I wonder, pretty much in vain, what drove Burt to take to his bed. It was definitely not an improved quality of life. He did have what he needed, food, drink, change of clothes. Health concerns crop up for the bedbound, such as tending to or preventing bed sores. We took care of those. RegularContinue reading “In the end”
Bedbound
Burt’s choice to stay in his bed wasn’t really a choice. I had noticed a decline in the two months leading up to those last two months. Friends who came to celebrate his 85th birthday said he seemed less engaged. After that birthday party, he went out for ice cream in his wheelchair for theContinue reading “Bedbound”
Falling
Some things I remembered this morning When Burt was in the rehab after a fall in which he broke a hip bone during a bout with Covid, he’d call me with an escape plan. He said we could meet by the front door and sneak out to go home. He’d wake his roommates yelling outContinue reading “Falling”
More on that video
The combination of events, my uncovery of the video of Burt a day after our party for him, still tickles me. I am revisiting the occasion of our conversation, listening to it many times over. I also enjoy imagining it and retelling its script. It is rife with the essence of Burt. Chatty, relishing hisContinue reading “More on that video”
this is our life 