TheRealTamara

Loving Burt. Losing Burt.

Loving Burt

What gives you direction in life? My life changed the day I met him, and his love and care for me and the opportunity to care for him gave me direction these 35 years. It has been a lovely journey, bumps and all.

Bluey redux

Several children were delighted by my wearing my Bluey t-shirt today. There was also one father, a friend who had a picture of his tyke with the characters on his phone, who was pleased by my choice of attire. We agreed that Bluey was the best father. When I first discovered the iconic cartoon IContinue reading “Bluey redux”

Celebrating Burt

My afternoon

Years ago, I told a diner next to me, I was a member at Cooper – Hewitt. I dragged my husband to the parties they threw here on the grounds. He nodded and said “Janet drags me.” We agreed that he liked it. I said I dragged the poor fellow to the Merchant’s House onContinue reading “My afternoon”

My guy

Grief

Your mind on grief is suffering from trauma. Any caregiver with a loved one captured by dementia knows grief from diagnosis on. In my case, I was grieving for the past 5+ years. One morning shortly after Burt’s passing, I awoke to a my I have been under strain moment. Some awakening. It comes withContinue reading “Grief”

As I enjoyed the fantastic Max Pollak Group tap, I had the memory of Burt tapping along as we watched a dancer on tv. He was seated in his big brown chair. His feet were dancing along. Burt loved tap dancing. He would have loved this show. In some ways, he was there enjoying withContinue reading

Busy

Keeping busy helps me work through my grief. It also takes me away from the business of my grieving. Grief need not be avoided and often the busy-ness of my days skirts the pain of my grieving. While Burt was ailing busy was intricate to mourning. There was a relentless gradual loss. Now, busy isContinue reading “Busy”

Like the two-step

QuickQuickSlow: it’s not a dance, my darling. Wish it were. Looking back, the blur of our journey as we trudged, loped and galloped along is confusing. Is it surprising that an illness characterized by confusion would cause confusion? Create it for the travelers as they travailed its inconsistencies? The one who is well as muchContinue reading “Like the two-step”