Burt always called me during my respite hours. At one time, while he still could, he’d place the calls himself, relying on the numbers from the phone book I had made him. Then he started getting his aide to place the call or to text me to call him. It was intrusive. I picked upContinue reading “He doesn’t call”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Memories
What makes you feel nostalgic? A YouTube video of snow cascading outside a coffee shop with jazz pleasantly playing prompted «It’s a slow game, but it’s good« from Burt. Lately, Burt will comment on a “movie” he feels he’s watching even with the TV off, so mention of the «game« didn’t throw me. For me,Continue reading “Memories”
Call and response
Burt has taken to pontificating all night long. Or, almost all night. Twice when I said «it’s 4 in the morning now, you can try to sleep,« he’s agreeably responded “that’s all right with me.” I always refer to him as “honey” at 4a.m. He sleeps deep into the morning after that. Unlike some ofContinue reading “Call and response”
Serious
There is always one more worry. I know you’re shaking your head “just one?” Despite the comical appearance, these are meant to protect the skin on the heels. In fact, since he’s been bedbound, I have been put on red alert. The skin is susceptible to breaking down. Bed sores are a real and unpleasantContinue reading “Serious”
Redundant
My takeaway from the discussion was that the brain protects itself by holding redundancies. Well, that was one of the points I gleaned from Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s StarTalk with Daniel Levitan (and Chuck Knight) on music as our first language. Why redundancy? It would be a way for the brain to keep and store informationContinue reading “Redundant”
Amazing
In Down down up, I made the case that there was no denying Burt’s impairments. He’s no longer tethered to his Wall Street past, except for his frequent talk of money and time. He doesn’t see the companion of his journey by his side but lives with lots of imagined company. (Let me clarify, althoughContinue reading “Amazing”
Down down up
When I speak of Burt’s return or of an upswing, I am grading on a curve. After his recent declines, he has not achieved clarity, coherence, or cognitive functioning. He tells me of imagined trips where he met people with wonderfully unlikely names. He insists I bring Tamara to him when I say, “I’m yourContinue reading “Down down up”
Practical concerns
As Burt retreated into his bed, his OT raised concerns over pressure sores. She was not being alarmist, I only wish she was. The skin is our largest organ, and it is susceptible to wounds and tears. Burt has developed several areas that need lots of special attention. We use a number of ointments andContinue reading “Practical concerns”
A timeline
Burt had a sudden downturn starting in October. Although I have documented Burt’s decline, I am still unsure of the actual events. His decline has been incremental and gradual. It has also come on suddenly, precipitously and unexpectedly. In October, things like confusion and hallucinations seemed more noticeable. Soon thereafter, one of his aides andContinue reading “A timeline”
Xtra xtra read all about it
Today, after resisting when our weekend guy put him in a sitting position, Burt settled into it. He relaxed and held himself up. This was unusual for him as he generally sinks back. Not unexpectedly, he started talking. His narrative ran into unfamiliar territory as he started discussing getting up. We perked up. His aideContinue reading “Xtra xtra read all about it”
this is our life 