He is sleeping more. Some days, he sleeps through a meal. Other times, we skip his night time meds. These are mostly to help him sleep so that’s okay. His constant talk is baffling. It’s hard to tell what he’s saying. He often talks in his sleep, although even when he’s awake I often can’tContinue reading “Today”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Day to day
There is so little that changes by any magnitude. Burt remains in bed. He wriggles from his side posture to lie on his back. He shifts from the middle to which we’ve struggled to put him until his head leans on the bed rails. The bed rails were causing a dent on his forehead. WeContinue reading “Day to day”
My Burt
Burt looks through his intense old man’s eyes, with a seriousness that is touching. The look is fully reminiscent of the boy in him. Like that boy, he is sorting out the ways of the world. Conversations that draw simple and astonishing conclusions flow much of the day. He has lots of questions and gets manyContinue reading “My Burt”
Maybe
At 4am the other night Burt said «my wife was here but she ran away.« I said I love you. Today I am wondering as he says where’d she go (meaning me, I think) if he misses me the way I miss him. I tell him I love him often. Often he gives me aContinue reading “Maybe”
Jazzy
My discovery on my pared-down- no-more-cable teevee of jazz videos wingtailed nicely with an email. My friend BW found the must hear 20 jazz hits. More on those soon. I’ve been spending a lot of time with Night time jazz cafes. So let’s talk about those first. This is a category of YouTubes which IContinue reading “Jazzy”
It’s the little things
What’s your favorite candy? Memory is a blessing. We can live in and relive our favorite things. And the things we loved that maybe are now lost. I mentioned that moment while I stood by a V’Day display of chocolates and realized Burt no longer could appreciate that Hershey bar. That small realization came with Continue reading “It’s the little things”
A hiccup [story]
As we were finishing our lovely lunch, my great friend S started to hiccup. My hiccup wisdom came in play here. Burt, I said, had been hiccupping. I hadn’t noticed but then I did. An online support group had shared this issue so I was primed. In Burt’s case, it was likely an autonomic whateverContinue reading “A hiccup [story]”
Ambiguity
There is a pet term for the grieving and loss we feel as our loved ones dwindle and decline. As they lose themselves to confusion and disorientation, they are lost to us. Sometimes, the diminished cognition, reductive common sense, and other unraveling occur over many years. Each new feature of this unwinding is another lossContinue reading “Ambiguity”
Valentines
Speaking of the day of hearts and flowers, and I did mention it, this is another particularly difficult holiday. It’s that love stuff that gets us. Most of us have seen our marriages transformed by Lewy [or, really, any dementia]. Intimacy is not what it used to be. Love, of course, is a resilient andContinue reading “Valentines”
Speaking of gratitude
As I suggested to you, because it was suggested to me, it really helps us focus on the caring when we note at least one positive interaction with the one we love. I dare say, this is true in civilian life also but for us who are caregivers, it’s a monumental help. I had twoContinue reading “Speaking of gratitude”
