Burt’s fever broke overnight, almost as suddenly as it started. He was immediately a bit less disoriented. He was able to speak more clearly. We were just chatting, and he mentioned his ex-wife‘s name. I was prepared for this. I was prepared for it to hurt when I asked who she was. He did say,Continue reading “Moment to moment”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Music
It’s medicinal. It can jog memories; it makes you feel good; it works on the mind. You know how music can bring a smile to your face. You know how music can make your love-with-dementia happy. There is scientific evidence for this. Neuro scientific evidence. The podcast here also tells us that there is redundancyContinue reading “Music”
A weekend routine
We were going out on Saturdays and Sundays. We went to Karl Schurz Park or to watch the waters along the East River Esplanade. We stopped at an ice cream parlor on our route to or from. When the park outings proved too much, we still went out for an ice cream. We went out.Continue reading “A weekend routine”
It’s a chore. It’s a delight.
The sound of the glug glug as the bottle empties makes me smile. Feeding Burt is a task. My wait time patience between spoonfuls is limited. I have to resort to a slow, silent count and to posture breaks. Feeding Burt is also the one remaining intimacy we share. That and giving him to drinkContinue reading “It’s a chore. It’s a delight.”
Here’s where the focus shifts
Burt is having more interactions with hallucinatory visitors these days. He experiences delusions and a good deal of confusion. This lessens his involvement and connection with those of us with him; the ones actually in the room. For instance, when I told him I was his wife and I was home with him, he said,Continue reading “Here’s where the focus shifts”
Aides in short supply
I had considered that any crackdown on immigrants would affect the food supply – from farm workers to deliverymen – but was surprised by this: Some of the earliest and lasting effects from President-elect Trump’s promised immigration crackdowns would be in home health and long-term care, both of which rely on a substantial number ofContinue reading “Aides in short supply”
He’s back
Burt’s decline has been very distressing. Yesterday, he slept all day. He didn’t respond to his aide and this scared her. Today, he’s back and chatting. Giving advice, happy. Ah, Lewy. He’s staying in bed but eating well and talking a lot.
His decline. My denial
Oh, that famous river is always right over my shoulder. Is it my heart that keeps me from accepting the inevitability of this disease? Burt has been declining, as in sooo much more confused, delusions and hallucinating to beat_the_band. He also is often sleeping more, although the fact that he’s up half the night contributes.Continue reading “His decline. My denial”
Will this be useful?
My therapist gave me a list of feelings to try to refine my self-assessment. I should look at & consult. What can sadness and sorrow mean or incorporate? I feel bored, too, and guilty for that and other lapses in my care.Worried falls under Fear for example. Guilt includes Regret Sorry Remorseful none of whichContinue reading “Will this be useful?”
Love, loss
Last night, Burt was very vocal. I believe he was mostly speaking in his sleep. Much of this conversation last night addressed complaints. He called out my name a few times. In this chatter, he fluctuated between an unfavorable and a positive view of me. It was clear that he knew who I was. ThisContinue reading “Love, loss”
this is our life 