When are you most happy? When Burt shows delight, as he chortles, happily laughing at his own jokes, I am happy. My job 1 is keeping him at home, safe, secure, and comfortable. If he’s enjoying himself, it makes that job so much easier. Admittedly, my frustration trying to get his head back on the pillowContinue reading “Safe and secure”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
The sign
It’s been at least two years since I first met this sign on a stretch of East End Avenue. I took it both at face value and as an indicator. Life, our life, had definitely hit a patch of the rough. In our case, we had not had or did not heed or were notContinue reading “The sign”
Every little thing
Who said «The unexamined life isNot worth living,« I have taken thatTo heart, instilled it with a power soI examine every thing as it happensAs if by tearing at it, I will find a gemOf wisdom, learn a life lesson evenIf it’s from myself alone for myselfAlone. «Lest I forget« is a phrase I StickContinue reading “Every little thing”
Once upon
It’s very exciting to hear that one of my favorites is taking on the role of Mama Rose. I could easily say one of our favorites. It’s a bit sad that we won’t be there to witness her interpretation. For the 2003 revival, Bernadette Peters made her entrance down the orchestra aisle, stopping by Burt’s seat.Continue reading “Once upon”
Making a case
Playdoh makes an unexpected case for permanence. Playdoh, it turns out, will dry. You can even put your creation on a tray and bake it. I am looking forward to a chance to try to work with Burt with this material. His current hobby seems only to be talk and lots of it. Lately, it’sContinue reading “Making a case”
We traveled a little
Burt had many anxieties when we first met, had had them for years. He feared train tunnels and getting stuck in them. He always faced his phobias. He planned trips for us, often by train. In fact, trains became our favorite mode of transportation. Our trips were special. We went to Mystic and spent aContinue reading “We traveled a little”
It’s not imminent
We all die alone; it’s our ownPersonal drama. Noone should Take our spotlight. I will stayAs witness. I will not let him goAlone. I will be the chorus to hisAgamennon, the Fool to his Lear Burt’s decline, as I have mulled it over and over, is a dark time for me. It is also darkContinue reading “It’s not imminent”
Lunacy
One of my fellow LBD spouses has been pushing the idea that a full moon influences behavior in our loved ones. I was skeptical. I tend to be. Serves me right that on Saturday with a full moon looming outside my window, Burt was awake and conversing until 2:30 in the morning. Full moon. StrangeContinue reading “Lunacy”
Confusio n
Let’s look at what being confused is really like. I think we often feel that it’s a pleasant state or, if not quite pleasant, a not-unpleasant one. You look around, and things don’t make sense, but you know, who cares: It’s all good. In this assessment, confusion is confused with the “no worties” state ofContinue reading “Confusio n”
Unambiguously
I started mourning…. I was going to say right away, well, that’s not true. The first losses kicked me in the gut. They perplexed me. I was angry. I was scared. I didn’t know what to do. I started mourning as I got used to the loss. Losses, that’s the right word; they are incremental;Continue reading “Unambiguously”
this is our life 