It’s hard to explain. It makes little sense even to me. But… There is something about the challenging symptoms and behaviors that, as they pile on, invite a more vigorous response. He has wilder delusions, more vivid hallucinations, less coherent responses, and my capacity to deal is supercharged. Yes. I have bags under my eyesContinue reading “Harder=Easier”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Smooth fella
Burt falls in love easily. Thanks to Capgras Syndrome, I am one of dozens of Tamaras in his life. A new me surfaces on many a morning. There is no convincing him I am the “real” the “original” the “favorite” wife. This is especially so after lover boy introduces himself as single or single-and-hates-his-wife. IContinue reading “Smooth fella”
My guy
Exasperating though he is…. It’s a long shift when early rising and a later bedtime turn the day into 16 hours. In much of this time, he is totally and naturally confused. His conversation, as I may have mentioned, is a constant deposition of theories and ideas. There is an insight occasionally which jars meContinue reading “My guy”
Funny you should ask
There is nothing funny about having dementia or caring for a loved one with dementia. Yet there is nothing more welcome to patient or carer than a hearty laugh. I devise amusing (to me) ways of looking at our plight. I picture Lewy as a roller-coaster (as it is most regularly described) on and offContinue reading “Funny you should ask”
Workshop thoughts
He’s looking good. The invisible burden. He’s doing well, they’ll say. No response to that makes it any easier. Yes, it’s a progressive illness, and we’re doing what we can. He has good days. I’m glad you got him on a better day. Your visit certainly perked him up. In truth, I have rarely hadContinue reading “Workshop thoughts”
A poem of our time
I say, “Yes. We are together34 years.” I know to you itFeels like we met yesterday. Yesterday. A new experienceFresh. Who are you? WhichWife? Where did we meet? Questions. Wide-eyed likeYou never asked them, or I Never answered. We met.I am impatient, but shouldNot be. It really is the firstTime you’ve asked where When. Who.Continue reading “A poem of our time”
Paying the piper
The cost of care is astoundingly high. My time has come to get some help with those costs. Fingers crossed. It would be unrealistic for me to try to meet Burt’s needs without the aid of professional aides. I know Burt’s needs will only increase. It’s a scary proposition. Medicaid is an option for someContinue reading “Paying the piper”
You are invited
This is a Save-the-Date Burt turns 85 this November. He had a downturn. Then, the Lewy roller coaster started back up the hill. Sure, there’s a new baseline that has him looking less like the coherent engaged Burton of 2023, but…. Today, he showed gratitude along with his affection. He’s interested in people and activities.Continue reading “You are invited”
Sidebar
On aging In my early 70s, not so very long ago, I was going on [pretty] wild Spin Rides at a gym on W49th. It’s an experience I can’t imagine having now, although I can recall it vividly. The Spin room had a screen on which were projected travel destinations. Some were real and hilly.Continue reading “Sidebar”
On the side
Things happen as we get engrossed and distracted by caregiving. I managed to misplace (a polite way to say lose) our marriage certificate. I feel a lot better about it since Googling that replacement can be done easily and online. Looking for the missing item also gave me an opportunity to sort through documents. The rearrangementContinue reading “On the side”
this is our life 