Marriage is hard. First, you have to love the person and then it’s a lot of work. Burt advises some “friends.” His conclusion is that all “those 30 people over there” will think twice about getting married. He was having a lucid, although clearly not hallucination-free, morning. I value the days when he knows whoContinue reading “Burt says”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Going home
It’s a mystery to most of us, but come sundown or thereabouts our pwd will fervently express a desire to “go home.” Oh, honey, good news we’re here. Burt’s response “I’ll take your word for it.” Yes, we don’t have to travel or anything. There are other occasions when he’s eager to go home. AsContinue reading “Going home”
Redirect
I think I know why it’s so difficult to redirect Burt. This may apply to your loved one as well, though I have heard rumors of pwds being easily put on an alternate path. My guy looked so puzzled when I tried to change course. I believe it has to do with how slowly heContinue reading “Redirect”
Superstitious
I am not a believer. I am an atheist. Without a religious allegiance or a belief in a god or an afterlife, you would think I would be free from all other superstitions. In fact, I inherited much of my magical thinking from my mother. She, too, disdained religion, but lord she had a worldContinue reading “Superstitious”
Easy
Burt has a susceptibility to falling in love. I have mentioned it before. This morning, I noticed a new criterion; [the first is that the “girls” treat him well or ‘are nice to me’ as he puts it]. “We met when you brought me breakfast,” he says. Since we had had so many issues withContinue reading “Easy”
The question of sleep
people who wear sleep trackers on a “perfectionistic quest for the ideal sleep” actually have their sleep become worse. If that sounds like you, it might be time to take a step back. “Sleep is a passive process,” one doctor told Kate. “It is to be protected, not forced — or ‘maximized.’” In short, windingContinue reading “The question of sleep”
Harder=Easier
It’s hard to explain. It makes little sense even to me. But… There is something about the challenging symptoms and behaviors that, as they pile on, invite a more vigorous response. He has wilder delusions, more vivid hallucinations, less coherent responses, and my capacity to deal is supercharged. Yes. I have bags under my eyesContinue reading “Harder=Easier”
Smooth fella
Burt falls in love easily. Thanks to Capgras Syndrome, I am one of dozens of Tamaras in his life. A new me surfaces on many a morning. There is no convincing him I am the “real” the “original” the “favorite” wife. This is especially so after lover boy introduces himself as single or single-and-hates-his-wife. IContinue reading “Smooth fella”
My guy
Exasperating though he is…. It’s a long shift when early rising and a later bedtime turn the day into 16 hours. In much of this time, he is totally and naturally confused. His conversation, as I may have mentioned, is a constant deposition of theories and ideas. There is an insight occasionally which jars meContinue reading “My guy”
Funny you should ask
There is nothing funny about having dementia or caring for a loved one with dementia. Yet there is nothing more welcome to patient or carer than a hearty laugh. I devise amusing (to me) ways of looking at our plight. I picture Lewy as a roller-coaster (as it is most regularly described) on and offContinue reading “Funny you should ask”
this is our life 