TheRealTamara

Advice from self

“Stick to your knitting” might be apt in these moments where my anxiety over my husband’s condition runs headlong into my feelings of patriotism and citizenship. I think I can do both. Worrying is a well-honed skill. I am more than capable to juggle the two. Neither is a small concern. There. I have interjectedContinue reading “Advice from self”

Party king

A birthday surprise

“I am never going here with you again,” Burt whispers. Maybe he even said “anywhere with you,” but you get the gist. It was a wonderful party. Our friends brought him thoughtful gifts. At my suggestion, we sang him the birthday song. (Do we still owe someone royalties on that?) The first arrivals talked amongContinue reading “A birthday surprise”

A question of time

Recently, a kindred caregiving spouse wondered how many hours of care she should consider for her husband. She had been going it alone, and with all her heart and love. Anyone who’s been there knows how intensely draining and lonely this can be. There comes a time on this journey when caregivers need relief. ForContinue reading “A question of time”

I am so relieved

Now I really am relieved. The fever Burt was running appears to have hit normal. The thermometer stopped its red scream and went to a peaceful green this morning. His head was cool to the touch. We haven’t heard what the picture that XRay Tommy took in our home looks like yet. But Tylenol seemsContinue reading “I am so relieved”

Relieved?

It was a relief of sorts to realize that Burt’s decline of yesterday was due to a raging fever. The fever, after a night with Tylenol, is in a more manageable range. I am ashamed of myself for being so angry and impatient over Burt’s inability to get out of bed. How unkind of meContinue reading “Relieved?”

Heartbreak

Lewy Body Dementia offers just reams of tales of heartbreak. They appear as unexpectedly as if we all didn’t know where our story was heading. Every decline has been a surprise to me as if there was a plot twist I hadn’t seen coming. I can’t justify this reaction. I know what this journey ofContinue reading “Heartbreak”

Fears

Paranoia is a frequent visitor as we age. I think it’s because the old know they [ok we] are vulnerable. For those with dementia there’s a greater feeling of susceptibility. Your p.w.d. may seem unaware of having a malady, but s/he senses that there is something off. Paranoia seems like a way to protect ourselvesContinue reading “Fears”

Surprise

Have you noticed what a handy tool the calendar is? We share so much by pointing to it. Look, over here, come Thursday, it’s your birthday. Burt is no longer able to keep order in the days, the months, or the dates. Recently, on a phone confirmation, he wasn’t able to assure the caller ofContinue reading “Surprise”

For better. Or worse.

BTW, I found the errant marriage certificate in an envelope in this bag today. A helpful neighbor who stopped by to move Burt into a better position in the bed said, “You might not notice, but I see a huge decline in the last 3 months.” I did. Notice that is. The route’s been downhill,Continue reading “For better. Or worse.”