As Burt’s Lewy Body Dementia progresses There is no logic, so Burt has odd explanations of how things – even in his own body – work. Being able to define tasks, follow through, and find order go out the door with logic. Things he knew and understood are forgotten. This is not memory loss it’sContinue reading “What is slipping away”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Clean jean
There are many different kinds of optimism to sustain us. White pants are the one variety that I am sporting. For instance, I am expecting not to be covered with stains but am also planning a trip for ice cream today. I had been feeding Burt to spur his eating. I know it’s better toContinue reading “Clean jean”
Love and grief
I wear my grief on my sleeve likeA badge on a soccer uniformI hope that the love is a secondPatch also obvious, also on mySleeve. Love and grief commingle,Intertwined, intermingled, linkedIn tears and smiles, in the joy ofHaving you still with me. I see theGlimmers of who you always were.I mourn losing all the rest.Continue reading “Love and grief”
Food’s still an issue
It’s never one-and-done with Burt of course. He’s returning to the not willing to eat phase. His dinners are mostly pureed in an attempt to ensure they go down smoothly. Sometimes it works, sometimes he needs to get sweets to fill him up. Desserts tempt him. He ate half a pineapple cake* with his aideContinue reading “Food’s still an issue”
Equivocal grief
I have been doing my shareOf grieving lately. I say shareAs if it were an apportionedAmount. A pinch of salt, dashOf cardamon. Measure yourGrief in a beaker, a basket, byThe pound or a bushel. I doNot even know what a bushelIs. There’s the song, “I love youA bushel and a peck,” it adds”A hug aroundContinue reading “Equivocal grief”
A poem
It was, well still is, a beautiful Day, full of autumn’s promise,Crisp with expectation. I amSorry you missed it, my love.Staying inside, sluggish withYour special imaginings andDisconnected from seasonsAs they pass. I so want youPresent and here with me inThe warm of fall as it beginsTo cool. It’s a season I haveAlways enjoyed most ofContinue reading “A poem”
Our outdoor weekend
This morning, Burt asked me what I was doing yesterday. I said I was in the park with you. “I didn’t see you. Why didn’t you come say hello?” It now occurs to me that Burt is antsy in the park when he doesn’t realize I am with him.
Funny
A friend was struck by a Burt response – asked to color, he said, “me and my friends discussed it and we don’t do that kind of work.” She said, “That’s hilarious.” It is. It brought me to the question, “Isn’t it strange that although he no longer has logic, he can still be intentionallyContinue reading “Funny”
Got to get a hobby
What is your favorite hobby or pastime? In the last post here, I had a chance to investigate “leisure activities” for Burt. Mine are less nuanced. I used to love trying artsy craftsy things to do. I once made a beautifully resonating drum. I also potted a decidedly clunky piece of clay; I was aimingContinue reading “Got to get a hobby”
A job
Did I mention Burt’s desire to get a job? Actually, he’s been on a hunt for work for a while now. In some cases, his “bad” wife was the impediment. [I wouldn’t join him at the job, and my doing that was a requirement for his getting it.] Other times, he felt they were tooContinue reading “A job”
this is our life 