therealtamara

Battling Burt

I need to be honest here. I said, “Stay positive.” I fully intended to do so. Fell right off that wagon fast. Burt refused to enjoy being out with me on Saturday. I mean, he was antsy and kept saying that he wanted to go home. My tactic to keep him engaged was all overContinue reading “Battling Burt”

Nod like you mean yes

For the sake of a quieter life with Lewy, I should learn to be more agreeable. It’s a reflex for me to correct for the sake of accuracy. Does it really matter? If he says we should go up there, pointing at the ceiling, for dinner, no long explanation that we live on the topContinue reading “Nod like you mean yes”

A good day

It’s so much easier to want to keep up the care after a pleasant day. Burt awoke early but not hours early. He asked me about a half dozen times when I was leaving. This question is usually followed by the inevitable when are you coming back. I heard that too but for today theContinue reading “A good day”

Focus on the upside

It may be harder to keep a focus on love and kindness as your pwd’s world unravels. Burt is less of who he was in our every daily interaction. I hear wild stories about his many wives. He tells me of his safe-but-crazy rides in “his car” with a group of friends by way of encouragingContinue reading “Focus on the upside”

Funny you should ask

How do you practice self-care? The “self-care” question meets with controversy and raised eyebrows in my community of caregivers. “Take care of yourself” is a well-meant message we often hear. Many of those of us who are taking care of a spouse understand the need, appreciate the sentiment, and just wish you didn’t have toContinue reading “Funny you should ask”

Virtual walk

I have wanted to join one of these Caring Kind walks for years. Perhaps with our weekend aide, we’re going to be able to do it this year! For now, I’m registered to walk in my heart and spirit along with others on this journey with dementia. Of course, Burt and I will walk togetherContinue reading “Virtual walk”

Sadness, no Sorrow

We need to grieve our sorrow. So do our sweethearts who are afflicted. I specifically said “sorrow” rather than sadness. It’s a deeper and more encompassing emotion. It seems that as his disease progresses, Burt grieves less. He appears to be less aware of his situation; if that is so, I am glad for him.Continue reading “Sadness, no Sorrow”

Chug chug

The Lewy roller-coaster has taken a small uphill turn. Burt’s no more cogent than he was at the slip down the slope. The change is more to do with his engagement with others. He’s happy to greet those he passes and more interested in being around others. We’re still surrounded by extra wives (now again,Continue reading “Chug chug”

A bad boy

Perhaps my tolerance for Burt’s more difficult side stems from my affection for the bad boy. Some of his outbursts are angry and defensive, but others have a touch of the mischievous. My boy has a wild streak. Still.

TMI

The balance between giving your beloved directions and oversharing expectations is just another fulcrum of care. You never told me is a frequent complaint whether I did or not. I will plead guilty and mutter a oh I thought I mentioned and that old standby sorry. Tell him about an upcoming event or activity tooContinue reading “TMI”