therealtamara

Getting out together

I hate to admit it. When apparently healthy couples of a certain age stroll by hand in hand, I am envious. The recent outings facilitated by our new weekend aide take some of the sting of my jealousy away. I can get out with my guy. That’s a nice feeling. We both enjoy being out,Continue reading “Getting out together”

Identity isn’t just for politics

This morning, I realized that the name of my poetry blog has a correlation with our journey with dementia. Burt has a regular delusion [mostly in early morning or at evening into night](pardon the digression). I am one of several wives, his Capgras syndrome tells me. Often, I am not sure which one he isContinue reading “Identity isn’t just for politics”

And that

Argumentative

Early on, I lamented not being able to argue with my husband. Now, when I scream at him out of exasperation from another room, he thinks there are two crazy women in his life. That’s not fair to him and must be a tad terrifying. His demonstrations of anger seem to be a way ofContinue reading “Argumentative”

Mental health

Holding onto our mental health is not just taking interventions to keep depression at bay. As we get older, we worry about dementia. Forgetfulness sparks fear. Intervening for cognitive health seems like a good idea. I blog to keep my mind going. I do puzzles, albeit the Easy Sudoku and a mini crossword are myContinue reading “Mental health”

Down up up? Down? Up

Among those caring for the Lewy- afflicted, LBD is referred to as a roller-coaster. I hated those before embarking on our Lewy journey. As you can guess, I am not a fan of the wild ride now. Lewy Body Dementia is unpredictable. Lows can be followed by some highs. Or at least some regained ground.Continue reading “Down up up? Down? Up”

Compassion

Robbed of everything meaningful, the pwd in your life progressively declines a little further. Disease progression is relentless. Burt is a poor patient. He resists being prodded, guided, and helped. It makes those doing what’s best for him and doing their best feel like giving up. At best, it’s exasperating. In these instances, remembering whoContinue reading “Compassion”

Memories

I will remember this: My goal in having weekend help was to get Burt out more. The first weekend was a bust. An unhappy Burt gave up inside our courtyard. On the second day, he seemed eager but did not like the outing. Finally, we made it past the grumbles to a nice sit inContinue reading “Memories”

Doubling up

My objection to the use of the plural pronoun is documented elsewhere. This annoying (to me) linguist twist finds its way into Burt’s vocabulary by way of reduplicative paranesia. “When are they coming?,” Burt asks. “He works alone,” I say about his PT, “and he’ll be here at 4 pm.” He had two weekend aides,Continue reading “Doubling up”

Old Haunts

Everything nearby can be a trigger for memories and the sadness they evoke. When I passed the cafe at Sotheby’s today, I was mildly cheered that it no longer occupied the top floor. Burt and I had eaten on the rooftop terrace for years. I miss being able to do that with him. Of course,Continue reading “Old Haunts”