therealtamara

Soothing

What would your life be like without music? Music was a big part of my care program for Burt. It is soothing to hear the lilt, the beat, the sounds. Burt usually responded positively to music. Neurologists have done studies that show the benefit of music for p.w.d.s. It is interesting that our loved onesContinue reading “Soothing”

Going to the movies

It seems that Burt and I, having gone on our first date and with our second one scheduled for the Sunday, saw Pretty Woman on Saturday night, separately and at different movie theaters. I saw it with my friend M. Burt, as I recall went on his own. This memory of our early history cameContinue reading “Going to the movies”

It will be different

Everyone’s journey is their own Your experience with your pwd will likely differ from mine. It’s never the same, yet there are the broad strokes. Different and the same, there are symptoms that may be familiar or that you and your loved one may never encounter. The saying among LBD carers is “if you’ve metContinue reading “It will be different”

Protected

Were you my protector? Perhaps. Yes, I can see you in that light; as My companion, and the one holding Me tight, your arms a protective Circle, you by my side, caring and Guiding. Protecting me, you, my Champion always by my side. You Were my protector. Yes, and my Companion, my friend, my loverContinue reading “Protected”

The walk-in shower

A visit to a friend whose walk-in shower was enviably better appointed than the one I had had installed was a reminder of why I ordered mine. I had hopes that it would make life easier for Burt after his stay in rehab. Bathfitters made quick work of replacing the tub with the easy accessContinue reading “The walk-in shower”

Dreaming

My friend wondered where our dreamscapes come from when I shared my dream with her. My dream of Burt, probably lastTh or Fr was meant to be noted on the following morning. I forgot to write it down then. When I did recall it, it struck me as odd, funny and pleasant. We wanted toContinue reading “Dreaming”

I remember

There is a phenomenon of memory that I am just now observing. It feels like it happens backwards. Let me clarify if I can: I am not drawn to act on the memory, rather it coincidentally comes to me as I go about doing what I would do. But, what I do is not coincidental.Continue reading “I remember”

Grief, grieving

Is it possible to turn grief into grievance? I accept that grieving has no timeline; I don’t want to shoo my grief away. In a way, it’s my grief that honors Burt. So what am I talking about? Is it the sense that long term grief is a kind of wallowing? Yes, that is partContinue reading “Grief, grieving”

We used to….

Times Square was often our jumping off point to nearby theaters, like, but not limited to, the Hayes below. My weekend took me to this part of the world where so many of the paths I took were filled with memories. Every memory came quickly to my attention, and then gave me a long momentContinue reading “We used to….”

I was safe. I thought I was safe.

The above is a prompt from Wild Heart’s Miribai Starr- well the second half is. She is guiding the grief workshop to which I am listening. It debunks some myths about grieving. [Wild Heart and Holy Lament, a grief community, is led by Miribai and Willow Brook.] I thought I was safe; it’s not theContinue reading “I was safe. I thought I was safe.”