As time slips by, it becomes easier to remember the time before dementia came into our lives. After all, there were so many years in those before-times and so many wonderful memories from all those years. During Burt’s illness, there were good times and difficult times. In other words, the last few years left meContinue reading “As memory serves…”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
FOMO
While listening to the New Yorker‘s in depth story on Willie Nelson, I was moved. Nelson is clearly impressive, not just as a cultural treasure, and as a performer, but also as a human being. There’s a lot I had not known about Willie Nelson. I was not a fan, in the sense of oneContinue reading “FOMO”
Summer night
When the night sky is so perfectI yearn to share it, to say look asI touch your cheek in the tenderSilence that is often the languageOf love. Intimacy needs no wordsWe caress those we love to urgeThem to see the beauty we know. Our caress is a whisper echoingThe perfection in the night thatSignals thisContinue reading “Summer night”
Through the years
Who was I as all my yearsAccumulated? The time isNot a continuum. It breaksInto small scenes, acts asDistinct as if each were aLife encompassed in 15 Minute skits, not all funny.Many poignantly true toLife. So much time passed,Passes unnoticed, goes Into a compartment, aMemory perhaps not alwaysRemembered as it shouldBe. I do know my lastContinue reading “Through the years”
Coffee?
This storefront reminded me that my “coffee quest” goes way back. As soon as I saw it, I was reminded that it had been a very cool coffee bar that Burt and I stopped at years back. Now that I think about it, Burt indulged me whenever I had wanted to try a new coffeeContinue reading “Coffee?”
How we grieve
Is mourning dependent on what we believe? Do our beliefs influence how we grieve? Is there something inexplicable about death, dying, and about mourning? My atheism runs up against my genuine sense that Burt’s always with me. I mean literally, I feel his presence. Spirits and souls are antithetical to the beliefs of an atheist. Yet, thereContinue reading “How we grieve”
The celebration
In February, on the 25th- yes, I know it’s still 2 months+ away- it will be one year since Burt’s passing. It feels like it’s been so much longer. Not just because he had been going [or gone] for the better part of five years before that. The not-quite a year has moved slowly, draggingContinue reading “The celebration”
Happiness
Looking at the many photos of Burt I have on my phone, I was touched by his grins, his looking mischievous. I realized how important it was to me that he enjoyed his life. And that, in retrospect. I have evidence of his pleasure. There are all those pictures I took and the memory ofContinue reading “Happiness”
Those 12 steps
“Acceptance” plays a huge role in our mental health. My reference to the 12 steps is a wry acknowledgement of just how deeply embedded the edicts of AA are in our psyche. The opening pledge addresses accepting.. and it’s genuinely a great suggestion. Let go. If you can’t change it, let it be. Acceptance hasContinue reading “Those 12 steps”
Photo album
I look at these pictures as I scroll through the albums on my phone, and I say, that was a good day.
this is our life 