TheRealTamara

Always here

Are memories a way of keeping Burt near? His presence remains in my heart, but when I remember where we had been together, it’s as if he were actually with me, not just in spirit. Could I always have practiced this total recall? Was that much always available to me? And where do these memoriesContinue reading “Always here”

Feels good

Pulling out some nice pieces from the dresser, I realize if its got a label, it was a gift from Burt. When I say label, I refer to name brands, like Sigrid Olsen or Jones New York. The clothes that I bought for me tend to be either unknowns or Old Navy. Burt’s gifts toContinue reading “Feels good”

Those last months

Today, thanks to those of you who’ve read my archive of writings in the last few days, I was led to revisit some blog posts from January 2025. These were documenting the last days of our journey. I know that now, so my re-reading was extremely poignant and tearful. I am so grateful for thisContinue reading “Those last months”

Burt’s watch

Love is on the….

Near 42nd, right across the avenue from the NYPL lions, I passed a Lovello “Permanent Jewelry” store. A little down the road, there was a Love Korean Restaurant. At Peacefood Union Sq, I giggled at the Both sign on the restroom door, envisioning couples going in. Not the intent, I know, but isn’t it romantic?Continue reading “Love is on the….”

Love poems

Yesterday, I was looking at some poems I had written. Many of them were love poems written to Burt. The ones that made my eyes tear are dated early in February of last year. I murmured to myself (and maybe to Burt’s photos), I was always writing you love poems.

You didn’t ask….

Unsolicited advice. I know! you never want to hear it. If you think about it, you probably don’t want to give it either. This entire blog is an exercise in giving advice. The advice I give is from my experience during a heart-wrenching journey with Lewy Body. No one asked, but I am here telling.Continue reading “You didn’t ask….”

Nostalgia

Nostalgia by definition is the sentiment that has us living in the past. Reliving what was, wistful and perhaps teary. In my case, the emotion is always resolute. I experience my reminisces with gratitude, glad to be reminded. The Banc has been here on the corner of 30th and 3rd for many years. Burt andContinue reading “Nostalgia”

Documented

The photos I display on every surface document Burt’s days with Lewy Body. Everywhere, there are pictures of him as the disease progressed and some of us at ballgames or on walks by the river. It’s a 10 to 1ratio. What strikes me in the pictures I snapped during our journey is the joy IContinue reading “Documented”

Staying strong

The reason why you should be exercising when your loved one becomes ill is just that. You need your strength. Exercise is not there just to help keep you fit so you can care for your loved one, however. Exercise, in releasing all those pheromones, will help you feel better.