When I brought him home from rehab, I wasn’t sure if I had made the right decision for us. I was extremely concerned that I wouldn’t manage. Burt was still dependent on a wheelchair much of the time. I had limited help (it’s expensive, you know!) to weekdays for 5 hours. Except that first weekendContinue reading “While I’m on the subject”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Funny ? Story
The rehab center is also a warehouse for some of its inmates. It provides far from optimum care. I wanted Burt to be capable to move around once at home. To that end, I kept him there two and a half months. Until recently, he still complained to people that “they didn’t tell you whenContinue reading “Funny ? Story”
Rehab
Burt landed in a nursing center/rehab after a hospitalization for hip repair. I was there when he fell and like on other occasions when I was there but couldn’t say exactly what happened…. I had contracted covid and was on paxlovid and trying to stay away from him. I slept in the living room, butContinue reading “Rehab”
Early signs, or what did I miss?
Listlessness, which was unlike the active guy I knew, was a warning. One day, out of the blue, he forgot how to work the remote. He had been making and planning our TV selections for a long time. He took pleasure in following the guide on the set to decide what we’d watch. This inContinue reading “Early signs, or what did I miss?”
Early signs
I was inspired by Cynthia Malone’s journal Slammered to look back a bit. I am calling our endeavors a literature of grief. I couldn’t put Cindy’s moving account down until I finished reading.* Grieving is a normal response to loss and so we grieve even before the final separation. Caregiver Teleconnections offered excellent guidance forContinue reading “Early signs”
Getting out
The other Sunday, we prepared for an outing to pick up Saturday’s mail. Preparation included a trip to the bathroom, which involves pulling pants off and on again. Because Burt is always cold, a jacket is a requirement, as is his hat. Because Burt is always cold, the outside temperature made a real outing toContinue reading “Getting out”
Dementia in the news
Sandra Day O’Connor died several weeks ago of complications from dementia. Rosalynn Carter was 96 when she passed and had suffered from dementia as well. These days dementia is often the diagnosis. Sandra Day O’Connor had made “dementia” news before. When her husband was in memory care, he began an affair with a woman atContinue reading “Dementia in the news”
Difficult Behaviors
My love exhibited unusual, difficult behaviors early in our journey. Firing caregivers was one of them. He could be aggressive and combative. I had reason to worry. And wonder. Things have changed pretty much, but I guess as long as he has a progressive, unpredictable disease, I will have reason to worry.
Sharing
Burt just asked one of our neighbors if he knew about his dementia. Of course he did. Burt said, “It’s the worst.” Our kind neighbor said,”Yes.” Recently, I wondered what Burt’s understanding of his disease actually means. I guess I am trying to fathom how deeply he comprehends that he has a brain disease. HisContinue reading “Sharing”
It’s all in the timing
I’ve gotten into the habit of dismissing his actions as “poor timing.” He’ll ask for a glass of milk, for instance, and as I deliver it, he will take off for the bathroom or to go lie down. Burt’s rhythm, unlike mine, requires a slower beat. I want to keep things moving. He needs timeContinue reading “It’s all in the timing”
this is our life 