There is a lot of support for the family member in charge of care. As caregivers, we are the better for taking it. Help is offered in the form of group sessions (now conveniently on Zoom); phone support from trained social workers; and hotline responses for urgent matters. There are myriad associations offering this invaluableContinue reading “Support”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Confused
Confusion comes and goes 🎢 with “Benny Blue.” 🎢 For instance, Burt’s level had seemingly hit a high water (or maybe I should say low water) mark. Then today, the word-scramble went back to his normal. Yesterday, he didn’t recognize the term he had been using to describe his dementia; he had called it “BennyContinue reading “Confused”
Gratitude
What do you complain about the most? The caregiver’s journey is often lonely, depressing, and difficult. A recent support group seminar served as a reminder that there is a lot for which to be grateful while caregiving. The Caregiver Teleconnection program from WellMed Charitable Foundation focused on the Positive aspects of the journey. For instance,Continue reading “Gratitude”
Prompted
So much that is too Much yet, I can’t fixThat. Why me, Burt Cries? I concur whyIndeed. I want to, I Do. I want to make itAll better, go away.I want to fix it. All Of it. I want to fixThat. I want our lifeBack. So very much.The elders would say”If wishes were horsesThen beggarsContinue reading “Prompted”
When things change
We have a rhythm to our journey. Like the clacking of train tracks, it tends to be uneven. His mood changes, and his love, constant but as changeable as the seasons of his moods, comes under their fire. It ebbs and flows but always can be seen rippling under the changes. He returns to meContinue reading “When things change”
Calm down
When I am unable to accomplish something with Burt, I don’t stay calm. Burt, sounding reasonable, tells me to calm down. This guidance is wise. My panicking and consequently screaming louder at him tends to have the unwelcome opposite effect. He has done nothing wrong as he is quick to point out. For the mostContinue reading “Calm down”
“Let them do the things they can”
Excellent piece of advice, that. It may have come from Teepa Snow, our dementia-whisperer. For me and perhaps you, if you are a caregiver to a pwd, it’s hard not to do for, decide for, control the experience. To my curiosity (and a touch of my being annoyed), Burt got ticked off while waiting forContinue reading ““Let them do the things they can””
If I had my druthers…
Today, I had an intensely isolated time to spend with Burt. It was cold and icy, weather conditions that kept his aide home. They also deterred us from venturing out. The short trip to the lobby – just to get out – had him grumbling over the cold. Preparations for that trip took so longContinue reading “If I had my druthers…”
Pre-existing condition
It’s interesting how many spouses of folks with LBD have noted that their pwd was extremely smart. The other often reported fact is a tendency towards anxiety (before it’s a symptom of the disease) or obsessive behaviors. From the oral histories, we can see or suspect a pattern. Some of these psychological ticks and quirksContinue reading “Pre-existing condition”
I’m a person too
In the midst of all the losses- Burt is distressed that he has no job, I took his money, everyone in his life feels they can boss him – he will say, “I’m a person too.” This plea for respect and dignity is in part complaint and in part a request. It never references hisContinue reading “I’m a person too”
this is our life 