We met at a bar called Tramps on Friday, May 3rd in 1990. There had been a phone call on Wednesday during which we had made that date. Technically, we met on May 1, 1990, I guess, but according to our Beck love lore, it’s always been May 3rd, now 35 years ago. On Friday,Continue reading “Our story”
Author Archives: therealtamara
Grieving
There are so many words but I have only used loss; I’ve only Said “I’m mourning” or “I mourn” I have said “I miss you” and I’ve Mentioned that as I missed you, You were also missing. I knew You were lost and losing little Bits of yourself over time which I noticed you hadContinue reading “Grieving”
Unexpectedly
Had I mentioned this in an early posting? I remembered it in a support group today and thought it might help with a loved one at the start of dementia. Burt, I know I did mention this, dove into dementia with both feet from the get-go. His symptoms were astonishing and a little overwhelming, andContinue reading “Unexpectedly”
Reminders
When I open the cabinet, there’s the espresso cups we got from drinking, sadly, bad coffee at Matto. Burt pleased me by going with me and suffering through a cup, then escorting me to the subway. I don’t remember where I was heading, but it was a lovely morning. This is pretty much the trainContinue reading “Reminders”
What prepared me for my role as caregiver
This writing prompt prompted me to consider what life was like during my journey with Burt and where it is now… Life after your spouse dies has a new landscape. When added into that structural change is the fact that you spent many years as a caregiver, well, that’s a now what moment. At leastContinue reading “What prepared me for my role as caregiver”
Burt’s watch
Burt bought himself a moderately expensive watch some twelve, 13 years ago. He was proud of how well he negotiated for his Hamilton; he loved and wore it even when it no longer kept time. [Let’s face it, by then Burt wasn’t much on keeping time. In fact, he’d lost most sense of time inContinue reading “Burt’s watch”
Friendship
Inspired by an episode of IMO Burt had been my best friend in so many ways for the 30 years of our marriage before his illness. We shared so much. We went to lunch and we went to the theater. We even worked together. Listen to the IMO episode where Michelle Obama and her bigContinue reading “Friendship”
Nearly 12,775 days
As I glance at the photo of our wedding, I say to Burt “That was the best day of my life.” It was, but actually, nearly all of the nearly 12,775 days I spent with you were the best. That day, May 1992, came after two years of getting-to-know-yous and adjustments. It was a lifeContinue reading “Nearly 12,775 days”
Peaches are good
There were other summers When it was enough to say’Peaches are good’ to makeIt a good summer. SummersPast, before, when you wereStill here, with me. SummersNot like this one, without you.This summer, I’m thinking ofHow much you would enjoyThis fruit of summer. Burt,The peaches are good thisSummer. This summer, I amMissing you. That’s not good.
A last goodbye
As I opened the envelope from Krtil, I held my breath. Inside was a certificate ascertaining the latitude and longitude at which Burt’s cremated remains were set into the ocean. I had dropped that paper into a drawer so quickly that it took me a full 24 hours for it to register. The “it” thatContinue reading “A last goodbye”
this is our life 