In a rambling dinner conversation, Burt’s favorite aide [and mine] and I inevitably spoke of him. His idiosyncracies over the rules of laundry and eager attendance to the mailbox were still part of daily living when she began. Only toward the end, in the last few months, did Burt think I was just never here. MyContinue reading “It went so fast”
Category Archives: #gratitude
Planning
Have I told you that my party plans for May 3rd have proven to be healing? The choice of venue is close and that pleases me. On my way home from a site visit, I said, smiling and speaking to myself alone Burt will be so surprised. Preparing to throw a celebration of his life isContinue reading “Planning”
Community
My friend and neighbor D was one of those who watched over us. Another neighbor has been urging me to get a dog. She thinks a small dog would be best. She, as people do, really loves her dog. Burt had been fearful around dogs, and I think she took it a little personally whenContinue reading “Community”
Esplanade
D and I made plans to take a walk today. The weather’s been mild. Maybe we’ll cross the bridge that goes over the FDR to the Riverwalk. Burt and I used to walk there all the time. I mean, before he got sick, too. For a while, when he was still walking, we would goContinue reading “Esplanade”
Remembering Burt
My friend D warmed me by letting me know she was sharing remembrances of Burt with the doormen. She said she was also talking about him with her sister and their parents. Burt and I used to see D’s parents at Sedutto’s. They would take D’s girls for ice cream, I’m guessing once a week.Continue reading “Remembering Burt”
Closure, ha!
My post on February 25, 2025 speaks of getting closure being dependent upon the funeral parlor taking possession of Burt’s body. That, in the retrospect of half a night’s sleep, is inaccurate and, well, bullshit. It closed my day and left me able to go downstairs. I wanted to see the doorman who had notContinue reading “Closure, ha!”
Basic Burt
In the course of an hour or so, Burt was holding on tight to his aide’s hand. He took mine with his free hand and continued an elaborate explanation. His chat was freewheeling and pleasant. He’s been sweet like this of late. No arguments or accusations. This is Burt down to his basic self. He’sContinue reading “Basic Burt”
Burt’s ups
There was a decline, and now he is showing a little pick up. A little one but marked by chattiness and some connection. He’s more engaged this week. He appears to know me a little better than he did. And lord, does he love to talk. He is still chatting with his make- believe friends,Continue reading “Burt’s ups”
Call and response
“Burton Philip… we’re having a good day.” I am quoting the random callout Burt made last night. His conversation is ongoing, and he is addressing someone with questions and a flow of dialog. This is an evening ritual. Who am I kidding? These exchanges can go on all day long. My friend J is right.Continue reading “Call and response”
Imitation
A friend made an objection when I defined a puree as a «velouté.« She suggested it sounded like baby food even when I prefaced it as “ersatz“. Nonetheless, I continue to find the texture of potatoes with milk and lots of butter after a trip through my blender pleasing. And pleasantly haute. These soft mashedContinue reading “Imitation”
this is our life 