It feels odd sharing news of Burt’s death in an email or text. It feels odd having that news to share.He lived large and well right up to his last few days. Even during 4 years with dementia he found some connection with people, and pleasure in making that connection. His world shrank dramatically inContinue reading “From February 26, 2025, Subject: Burt”
Tag Archives: #giving-care
I do
While I was in the midst of caregiving, an acquaintance suggested I pursue a flirtation I had mentioned to her. “Don’t think of it as cheating,” she advised. Of course, I would. And of course, in its way, it was not. Well, yes, strictly speaking, of course it was. This is a delicate point asContinue reading “I do”
An essay for carers
Why I will always treasure the healthcare pros who came into our lives when Burt got ill. There is a diminishment that comes with dementia. The dementia sufferer and the family who loves him see their quality of life plummet. It happens over time, but it also is evident early on, sometimes on day one.Continue reading “An essay for carers”
Love and marriage
We’ve talked about love during caregiving, but I have not been forthright about sex. We don’t talk about that in polite society as my mother would assert. A visiting carer who came by to see Burt was not so circumspect. She suggested I should connect with someone in circumstances like my own. “It’s not cheating,”Continue reading “Love and marriage”
Once upon a time
Recollecting Burt’s time in the rehab center today gave me a little relief although the memory was hard. The fact that I could affirm that I stood for him when he needed my protection felt good. The nursing home-rehab was not a good place. I would not have placed Burt there over the long haul.Continue reading “Once upon a time”
My memories
There were many things Burt could still remember as Lewy progressed. Some were mangled memories. Until the last month or two, he still knew that I loved him. Sometimes that awareness came as a reminder from me. I love you very very much. His eyes widened and he’d say “Really?” and smile in recognition. AsContinue reading “My memories”
My Burt
Burt looks through his intense old man’s eyes, with a seriousness that is touching. The look is fully reminiscent of the boy in him. Like that boy, he is sorting out the ways of the world. Conversations that draw simple and astonishing conclusions flow much of the day. He has lots of questions and gets manyContinue reading “My Burt”
Best practices
One of my goals for this site is to offer guidance where I can. I want to list some ideas and tips that I have found handy on our journey. 1. Burt had some trouble vis a vis food early on. It worried me. I was feeding him lots of lemon meeingue pie and eggsContinue reading “Best practices”
Basic Burt
In the course of an hour or so, Burt was holding on tight to his aide’s hand. He took mine with his free hand and continued an elaborate explanation. His chat was freewheeling and pleasant. He’s been sweet like this of late. No arguments or accusations. This is Burt down to his basic self. He’sContinue reading “Basic Burt”
Short bursts of energy
There’s a support group that «puts the I in caregiver« which I value for its honesty. It’s akin to the one urging us «to be selfish.« I take about 5 hours for myself each day. It’s a necessary indulgence. Let me try to explain what my time away does to benefit me. When I getContinue reading “Short bursts of energy”
