Were you my protector? Perhaps. Yes, I can see you in that light; as My companion, and the one holding Me tight, your arms a protective Circle, you by my side, caring and Guiding. Protecting me, you, my Champion always by my side. You Were my protector. Yes, and my Companion, my friend, my loverContinue reading “Protected”
Category Archives: memories
I remember
There is a phenomenon of memory that I am just now observing. It feels like it happens backwards. Let me clarify if I can: I am not drawn to act on the memory, rather it coincidentally comes to me as I go about doing what I would do. But, what I do is not coincidental.Continue reading “I remember”
Grief, grieving
Is it possible to turn grief into grievance? I accept that grieving has no timeline; I don’t want to shoo my grief away. In a way, it’s my grief that honors Burt. So what am I talking about? Is it the sense that long term grief is a kind of wallowing? Yes, that is partContinue reading “Grief, grieving”
Burton, Burton, Burton
Back to the “from before”
Here’s the story of the picture [L] with the Blues Brothers vibe; I’ve shared this at length with A. who was curious about this photo in my pictorial. It’s a memory from the 2nd year that Burt and I were together. We were invited to party for Judith E’s birthday–who was married to Jim M,Continue reading “Back to the “from before””
Burt and I always were goers before his dementia stopped us in our tracks. Lately, my lament has been that we should have done more during his decline. Gone to dinner, taken more walks. In part, this is a wish, that if we did more, we could’ve made more memories. I’ve mentioned his expressed desireContinue reading
Thinking about
Blogging about Burt feels self- aggrandizing. Sometimes, at any rate. Not writing about him feels negligent. Like only the blog will document who he was to me. In the context of our life together, it doesn’t matter how others will remember him. As his wife, I temper all of the difficult, easy, caring devotion withContinue reading “Thinking about”
Thinking of…
I am in a bereavement group at the moment. This is my second go at tackling, no taking in this kind of support. Why not? It’s very helpful talking to others recently bereft. We see the stages so much more clearly when they filter in other’s eyes. I try to be honest with my group,Continue reading “Thinking of…”
Our story
We met at a bar called Tramps on Friday, May 3rd in 1990. There had been a phone call on Wednesday during which we had made that date. Technically, we met on May 1, 1990, I guess, but according to our Beck love lore, it’s always been May 3rd, now 35 years ago. On Friday,Continue reading “Our story”
Nearly 12,775 days
As I glance at the photo of our wedding, I say to Burt “That was the best day of my life.” It was, but actually, nearly all of the nearly 12,775 days I spent with you were the best. That day, May 1992, came after two years of getting-to-know-yous and adjustments. It was a lifeContinue reading “Nearly 12,775 days”
this is our life 