Is mourning dependent on what we believe? Do our beliefs influence how we grieve? Is there something inexplicable about death, dying, and about mourning? My atheism runs up against my genuine sense that Burt’s always with me. I mean literally, I feel his presence. Spirits and souls are antithetical to the beliefs of an atheist. Yet, thereContinue reading “How we grieve”
Category Archives: memories
Thankful
With Thanksgiving just a few days past, I realize that I had not completed my list of gratitude. It was such an obvious thing that I hadn’t voiced it: I am grateful for Burt. I am grateful that I met him, grateful that I knew him. I am grateful for every moment I had withContinue reading “Thankful”
A playlist
This is a little grieving guideline I want to share with you: Music was a tool that helped us even out the mood with our loved ones while we cared for them. I heard that music that Burt had enjoyed would be best. Now that he’s gone, I again am turning to songs from aContinue reading “A playlist”
A photo of Burt
I love the light that seems to come from within in this photo. I am grateful that I took Burt’s picture at every opportunity. There are so many to admire in memory.
I am so touched
Scrolling through the photos in my phone always brings me to a smile worthy memory. Below, for instance, is one of his Madeleine moments which I may be more tickled by from a prejudiced love of the guy with the cookie. It’s equally nice to remember a Burt from before, and my scroll helps jogContinue reading “I am so touched”
HiProtein O’s
I am still in that crazy but comforting space where Burt is present. While eating protein oats, I am wondering if only I had had Magic Spoon high protein o’s for him could I have prolonged his life? Then I wonder if he would benefit from that; would he want his life extended; would heContinue reading “HiProtein O’s”
Your story
Memory fades. Not just yours, my dear which was strangely altered and crippled by the dementia with which you suffered. Everyone’s. It, like the hearing of which couples complain, can be selective. Or just inaccurate. It was a gift to me when you recounted so much of your life story to me. Some of itContinue reading “Your story”
Yes, dear, I do
Do I miss you, darling?You, of all people, know.You know I miss you, And, even, I’ll bet, howDeeply I miss you. It isIntense, this absence ofYours. Yes, I miss you,Dear. Yet, also, I live myLife, a life different fromThe one we shared, theOne I miss when I say I miss you, darling, so Much. IContinue reading “Yes, dear, I do”
I ran into…
Last week I ran into a friend who now owns a bar-restaurant that Burt and I frequented; we hug, she offering me condolences and saying now you’ll live your bestlife. Then she’s telling me that Burt was a character. Hearing her assessment is a blessing. That day, I also ran into a Social Worker IContinue reading “I ran into…”
The past
Finnegan’s Wake is on my path to the senior center. I must have walked by dozens of times, but it’s only today that I ran into the woman who owns the place. We exchanged hellos and haven’t seen you in a long time. I explained about Burt’s dementia and told her he’d died. It’s recent,Continue reading “The past”
this is our life 