My friend greeted me by the lobby door and said go to the park, everything’s in bloom. Good plan for this aimless Easter Sunday. My route was to come in at 67th. And there were the memories. Burt and I frequented The Park. My path today was full of old stories. My Sunday in theContinue reading “The Park”
Category Archives: memories
Bubbling up
Two weeks before my planned celebration to honor Burt, I find little reminders in his honor. I am organizing my living space, with no wish to eliminate any of the reminders. You might argue that disposing of Burt’s jackets and sneakers can be seen as a way of eliminating reminders. Throwing out his things isContinue reading “Bubbling up”
Coincidence
Getting ready for a shredding event, as I cleaned out papers, I found Burt’s discharge from rehab. The date was, apparently 2/25/2023, just two years to the day before his death this year. A coincidence that I found such a jolting reminder. I had completely forgotten the exact date when he’d come home. It feltContinue reading “Coincidence”
Tickaboom
Burt loved tickets. I think I have shared the joke before: he said he liked getting tickets better than going to the show. Be that as it may, we went to most of the shows for which we had tickets. Tickets were a big deal and I think it had to do with his childhood.Continue reading “Tickaboom”
It went so fast
In a rambling dinner conversation, Burt’s favorite aide [and mine] and I inevitably spoke of him. His idiosyncracies over the rules of laundry and eager attendance to the mailbox were still part of daily living when she began. Only toward the end, in the last few months, did Burt think I was just never here. MyContinue reading “It went so fast”
Married Lady
My views on marriage were a bit more open than not. I was a 60s hippie-adjacent sort, after all. Burt felt that the commitment was an important turning point. He proposed on the morning of his 51st birthday in 1990. In retrospect, from where I stand today, being married to Burt was the best thingContinue reading “Married Lady”
Braving his fears
Burt had always seemed to be a “scaredy cat.” As his dementia progressed, he was fearful of the many dogs in our building. He would shoo them and then regret his rudeness and make his peace with their owners. He worried loudly when he participated in his PT or when we moved him in hisContinue reading “Braving his fears”
The reservoir
Today, I took a walk across the park for the first time in many years. It was inevitable that this trip would trigger memories of Burt and me. My path took me along the track by the reservoir, a route we had last walked together 8 years ago. I was pleased to be there withContinue reading “The reservoir”
Stages
The dawn is still beautiful. Is it allowed to be beautiful? Are there really stages of grief? I know there are because I have lived them once already. I am grieving all over for the same man I mourned before. My sorrow is not less now even though it is tinged with relief. I haveContinue reading “Stages”
Footwear
My photo albums show me my Burt fully animated, even mischievous. He was a contrarian and often impish. I loved his capricious humor. I loved him.
this is our life 