It would be impossible to survive this journey without love, or kindness, or compassion. I have held firm in this belief from the beginning. I now know how much love, kindness and compassion can buoy me in grief as well. The fourth pillar of caregiving is respite. Proper time for the carer to fuel andContinue reading “Back to basics”
Category Archives: Respite
The practice of care
Best practices include the care of our darlings but as caregivers we need to look out for ourselves. Care for the caregiver includes respite, a topic dear to me and upon which I have expostulated at length. Self-care can and should be done in the company of others. Spend time with friends. I have lunchContinue reading “The practice of care”
Art for art’s sake
Squid Pro Quo is part of my respite care. I participate in a program that uses art as a tool for connection. The respite for me has added value because the other artists are not caregivers. It’s more a general population (albeit all of us older adults) group. It has been very soul-satisfying to me.
Short bursts of energy
There’s a support group that «puts the I in caregiver« which I value for its honesty. It’s akin to the one urging us «to be selfish.« I take about 5 hours for myself each day. It’s a necessary indulgence. Let me try to explain what my time away does to benefit me. When I getContinue reading “Short bursts of energy”
Collateral damage
Burt is in the line of fire as Lewy takes more and more of his self. I feel for his losses as I do for my own. He spoke of himself in the third person today. “Does Burt know?,” he asked. I don’t understand so much of what he utters these days, but I heardContinue reading “Collateral damage”
Me me me Time
A Lament Let’s face it, I have me-time even when I sit with Burt. (How do you think these blogs get written?) Most of the time, there are no pressing and time-consuming needs. There’s a little quiet conversation. It’s not challenging or sustained. Often, it doesn’t even include me as Burt’s focused on some fantomContinue reading “Me me me Time”
Changes
Burt seems less restless, even calm, despite the endless chatter. He’ll say he’s scared, but it isn’t urgent. In other words, the prediction that this declining state would be “easier” has come to fruition. His aides can give him water or juice. He’s amenable to eating if they feed him. Burt now entertains himself inContinue reading “Changes”
Caring. Day in/day out.
My role as caregiver is certainly not an easy job. I am not saying this out of self-congratulations or pity. I try not to allow it to limit or overwhelm me. In order to, you know, keep on keeping on, I have to stay strong and centered. Burt has often told me not to getContinue reading “Caring. Day in/day out.”
A question of time
Recently, a kindred caregiving spouse wondered how many hours of care she should consider for her husband. She had been going it alone, and with all her heart and love. Anyone who’s been there knows how intensely draining and lonely this can be. There comes a time on this journey when caregivers need relief. ForContinue reading “A question of time”
A day off
Burt was asleep all morning and now all day. His aide and I shared the space, texting and reading on our phones. After an hour and ½ trying to stir him, I decided to make Sunday a respite afternoon. I went to cast my ballot. Called some of my peeps, enjoyed the crispness of theContinue reading “A day off”
this is our life 