There are so many ways in which I am missing Burt. This is not unusual when mourning. I believe that we face our loss uniquely, not just as individuals but at different points during any given day. I awoke thinking about the Burt of many months past who was still communicative and sociable. I miss thatContinue reading “It’s going to be different”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Ping Pong
Somehow Burt always crops up in my conversations. I sat with some strangers at the senior center chatting about the play [Humpty Dumpty] I had seen while one of them was in the Hands Off! March and the gym classes we attended. One of the strangers, now my new friends, mentioned the ping pong programContinue reading “Ping Pong”
Married Lady
My views on marriage were a bit more open than not. I was a 60s hippie-adjacent sort, after all. Burt felt that the commitment was an important turning point. He proposed on the morning of his 51st birthday in 1990. In retrospect, from where I stand today, being married to Burt was the best thingContinue reading “Married Lady”
Saved from the bell
Burt got us out of the market. He had been a stocks and options broker and had happily traded for many years. As the LBD wracked him, he became leery of trading in the markets. I think he recognized, on some level, how complicated it all was. And under his new circumstances, that he wasContinue reading “Saved from the bell”
In my dreams
On Friday night I dreamt that Burt came to chat with me. He sat on the edge of the tub, cigarette in hand. You don’t smoke I said. I thought I’d try it. No harm now. He was casual. We don’t have a tub. He looked well, was lively and he said I got myContinue reading “In my dreams”
Aging
I awake, listing all the possible times of night [or early morning] it could be. I get up, walking with that strange rolling gate that age has gifted me. I have become an old woman in the years that Burt suffered his dementia. I stayed perky-ish while he needed me but since he left, IContinue reading “Aging”
Another conversation
A neighbor and I exchanged the back and forth of a condolence greeting. I said, yes I’m heading to the theater with a friend and thinking how much I miss the Burt who would be taking me to the theater. The Burt from way back. He said I remember the Burt from way back. QuickContinue reading “Another conversation”
New paths
In February, after nearly five years suffering with dementia, at the age of 85, Burt passed away. Before Burt’s illness we had a pretext of youth. Carefree and adventurous, doing and going was our style. During the years of Burt’s illness we had changed our focus. I am looking to pick up a new thread. IContinue reading “New paths”
The walls
Along the way
I have met and observed others treading the hallowed ground of this dementia, the Lewy Body disease. This poem is a tribute to one such fellow traveler. She of the perpetual sorrowShe carries her dread but isNot sure what it is she fearsHer fear is real but she fearsIt may be just the dread ofContinue reading “Along the way”