Grieving is a process that involves and invokes memories. Thanks to the volubility of my deeply missed beloved, I have lots of memories, even from his childhood. Burt told me many stories. I learned of the running board on his grandfather’s truck; the grandfather with whom he planted cucumbers. I heard how he met hisContinue reading “The process”
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All of a Sudden
Burt was my companion, my love, my guide, my partner, my pal for so many years and then he started withdrawing. That was not a conscious withdrawal but one he could not control. It was caused by the dementia that was also causing him to lose himself. Lost and not lost, as I have said,Continue reading “All of a Sudden”
Picture book
Our haunts
During the early years of the journey, Burt had destinations. He used to love to sit outside the HHS lobby; he befriended one of the security guards, Mr. Phillips, and would converse himself whenever we went there. The route was across the 78th Street bridge over the Drive and down the East River Esplanade. IContinue reading “Our haunts”
What else I am doing
Time with friends is a great support system during the journey and then when it abruptly stops. I have lots of plans. I have lots of wonderful friends with whom to hang.
The long before
Burt was well for a much longer time than he was ill. That is obvious as I write it, but it only just occured to me. The last 5 years have been that intense. So engrossing that I almost forgot. Almost. There was a long, happy before. The before celebrates Burt and me; it celebrates us.
Here’s how it went
Here’s what happened. First, Burt seemed listless. That was unusual for him. I was out at the gym a lot and he was at home a lot. He had fallen and cut his cheek badly a year earlier. He had had a bout with never-explained double vision. That was a couple of years before. AndContinue reading “Here’s how it went”
Last day
The Medical Examiner failed to notify my police detail to release Burt’s body. This was an hours long oversight which involved not just waves of paramedics but lasted through three shifts of cops. We asked the first of them if R, Burt’s aide, could go home but they and he lingered at home. I calledContinue reading “Last day”
Glad you asked
Sorry to have this answer Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to. Marriage isn’t rightly described as a phase. Some are soon ended. Others last from highschool sweetheart on, til. Ours started in midlife and ended with Burt’s death. Nearly 33 years married and almost 35 together. Maybe, like hisContinue reading “Glad you asked”
The from before
You met Burt here after the Lewy Body Dementia had taken a toll. For years, as it progressed, he maintained a lot of who he was. And who he was was funny, friendly, inquisitive. Loving, caring, smart. It started to really diminish him this past fall, LBD did. He lost his sociability. He gave upContinue reading “The from before”
