Some days, Burt is so intensely missed that I walk around in a miasma of loss. That’s on one day, and it’s fine. It is inevitable that that feeling will come or go or both at once. Today, I miss him but I’m digging into memories. With the memory the miasma lifts; I am notContinue reading “Good advice”
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In a world gone mad
In a world gone mad, perhaps No madder, crazier than it has Been building – puffing itself up To, a world askew, I dream of You sitting by my left shoulder, When I awake disappointed to Find you gone, this feels sane, Missing you in a world turned Mad by liars, confidence men, Swindlers andContinue reading “In a world gone mad”
Midtown west
Our old stomping ground After the hard years, I get to remember and celebrate all the good years New York City Center has been restored beautifully. It’s a bright elegant spot even with all the superb theatrical venues the City sports. I have been a habituée for longer than you need to know. [Hey, itContinue reading “Midtown west”
Loving Burt
What gives you direction in life? My life changed the day I met him, and his love and care for me and the opportunity to care for him gave me direction these 35 years. It has been a lovely journey, bumps and all.
Celebrating Burt
Grief
Your mind on grief is suffering from trauma. Any caregiver with a loved one captured by dementia knows grief from diagnosis on. In my case, I was grieving for the past 5+ years. One morning shortly after Burt’s passing, I awoke to a my I have been under strain moment. Some awakening. It comes withContinue reading “Grief”
Our journey. Now it’s my journey alone
I know that Burt is guiding me through this part of the journey. I say this despite my averred non-[even, perhaps anti] spiritual stance. As a new acquaintance told me yesterday, we don’t approach death in a direct way. We don’t for many reasons, one of which is a natural fear of our mortality. WeContinue reading “Our journey. Now it’s my journey alone”
It’s going to be different
There are so many ways in which I am missing Burt. This is not unusual when mourning. I believe that we face our loss uniquely, not just as individuals but at different points during any given day. I awoke thinking about the Burt of many months past who was still communicative and sociable. I miss thatContinue reading “It’s going to be different”
Ping Pong
Somehow Burt always crops up in my conversations. I sat with some strangers at the senior center chatting about the play [Humpty Dumpty] I had seen while one of them was in the Hands Off! March and the gym classes we attended. One of the strangers, now my new friends, mentioned the ping pong programContinue reading “Ping Pong”
Married Lady
My views on marriage were a bit more open than not. I was a 60s hippie-adjacent sort, after all. Burt felt that the commitment was an important turning point. He proposed on the morning of his 51st birthday in 1990. In retrospect, from where I stand today, being married to Burt was the best thingContinue reading “Married Lady”
