Some things I remembered this morning When Burt was in the rehab after a fall in which he broke a hip bone during a bout with Covid, he’d call me with an escape plan. He said we could meet by the front door and sneak out to go home. He’d wake his roommates yelling outContinue reading “Falling”
Tag Archives: #Capgras
Flirty
Burt was not an extravagantly flamboyant flirt. He did it on the qt so he could keep plausible deniability. He wasn’t ashamed of his actions but he liked his flirtations under the radar. He always flirted, in a quiet what do you think way. Years ago, in what I’ve been calling the before, Burt toldContinue reading “Flirty”
What was I thinking
There is actually a name for what your loved one with dementia is going through when s/he first denies the diagnosis. It’s not denial but something like a not knowing. My sincere hope at that point was that Burt would know, that he would understand. If he accepted the dementia, we could work together onContinue reading “What was I thinking”
He knows me, he knows me not
«That’s not a very LBD thing,« my support group leader mentions. It’s not, and I resent that. There had been «a promise« that I would not be forgotten. The word was people with Lewy Body Dementia tend to always remember their loved ones. It’s not like Alzheimer’s. Well, Burt knows I am important in hisContinue reading “He knows me, he knows me not”
Rapid
My sense is that Burt started his path in LBD at an advanced stage. From the get-go he went from a period of apathy to being fully confused in what felt like 60 seconds. Capgras was one major symptom; little people enhabited our home; he needed reassurance that he was home. Meds helped a lotContinue reading “Rapid”
Recognition
When we started our ride with Lewy, I was cheered± by one assurance. Unlike Alzheimer’s the person with this dementia will always know his/her spouse. It’s a tricky point. They didn’t tell me that he would tell me that his wife was dead; or that he hates her. They didn’t say that there would beContinue reading “Recognition”
Smooth fella
Burt falls in love easily. Thanks to Capgras Syndrome, I am one of dozens of Tamaras in his life. A new me surfaces on many a morning. There is no convincing him I am the “real” the “original” the “favorite” wife. This is especially so after lover boy introduces himself as single or single-and-hates-his-wife. IContinue reading “Smooth fella”
A poem of our time
I say, “Yes. We are together34 years.” I know to you itFeels like we met yesterday. Yesterday. A new experienceFresh. Who are you? WhichWife? Where did we meet? Questions. Wide-eyed likeYou never asked them, or I Never answered. We met.I am impatient, but shouldNot be. It really is the firstTime you’ve asked where When. Who.Continue reading “A poem of our time”
Like a peach
Ok. We’ve entered the clingy era. We’ve been there before but not quite like this. “I want you.” “Stay with me.” No. It is not gratifying. I would welcome his independence. I most certainly crave mine. I may have mentioned that I can no longer “reason” that I need my time to stay well forContinue reading “Like a peach”
Cyclin’
Anyone concerned over Burt’s immortal soul should take heart. This morning, he was thanking god. Repeatedly. Mostly for me; I qvell. He was fast asleep before 6 last night and up about 5 this morning. We had an excellent time as he “discovered” we were married. “You’re so nice to me.” He ate well, too.Continue reading “Cyclin’”
this is our life 