Time which I hoarded is now mine to squanderI have so much of it to fill at my leisure andCommand. I needed it when there was careAnd worry and doing so I set aside a block ofHours that were mine alone to fill with a lunchOr a Zumba class or, often with a learning ofHowContinue reading “Time”
Tag Archives: memories
The Falcons
My friend J came to join me at a theater performance wearing a Falcons varsity jacket. Why is that significant? Unbeknownst to her, Burt and his highschool pals called themselves the Falcons. And, yes, they had varsity jackets. It’s possible that this one, found at a bin in a second hand store, could have belongedContinue reading “The Falcons”
Time spent together
Was Burt perfect? Well, of course. Oh, you’re serious. No, of course not. The moments I conjure now are perfect. The ones over the last years may also be tinged with sadness. Of course. The ones from before his sad long illness are glimpses into a happy life. Often they are little things that areContinue reading “Time spent together”
The process
Grieving is a process that involves and invokes memories. Thanks to the volubility of my deeply missed beloved, I have lots of memories, even from his childhood. Burt told me many stories. I learned of the running board on his grandfather’s truck; the grandfather with whom he planted cucumbers. I heard how he met hisContinue reading “The process”
Our haunts
During the early years of the journey, Burt had destinations. He used to love to sit outside the HHS lobby; he befriended one of the security guards, Mr. Phillips, and would converse himself whenever we went there. The route was across the 78th Street bridge over the Drive and down the East River Esplanade. IContinue reading “Our haunts”
His story
There’s a lot of serendipity afloat at this end of our journey. I get glints from the universe that all provide points of light from Burt’s life. Or maybe, my experiences spur my memories. Memories are giving me context to our history, mine and Burt’s. I knew his background, I think, because Burt was alwaysContinue reading “His story”
Connect the dots
Every conversation…. no, it’s not the conversation. It is I. I am the one who pulls memories out of every and all conversation. I connect to something I hear so I can probe my memories of Burt more deeply. I seek a deeper remembrance. He’s connected to everything I hear and everything I speak ofContinue reading “Connect the dots”
Out of the past
Memories are a way of reliving the past. Memories are also a way to bring good feelings back. I spend more time with that past now. In my present, I also spend time living a heavy sorrow. From time to time, events and occasions trigger both memory and sorrow. We did this thing, checking outContinue reading “Out of the past”
Once upon
It’s very exciting to hear that one of my favorites is taking on the role of Mama Rose. I could easily say one of our favorites. It’s a bit sad that we won’t be there to witness her interpretation. For the 2003 revival, Bernadette Peters made her entrance down the orchestra aisle, stopping by Burt’s seat.Continue reading “Once upon”
We traveled a little
Burt had many anxieties when we first met, had had them for years. He feared train tunnels and getting stuck in them. He always faced his phobias. He planned trips for us, often by train. In fact, trains became our favorite mode of transportation. Our trips were special. We went to Mystic and spent aContinue reading “We traveled a little”
this is our life 