Sometimes, something just predisposes us to enjoy a food. Cooking has been pretty much out of my vocabulary for quite a while. My favorite “meals” lately have involved some measure of yogurt, usually with nuts, fruit, and granola. (No hot food, so maybe that was what predisposed me.) I mix a breakfast cereal mush forContinue reading “Foodie”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Why I am up at 4
My circadian clock is resetting. I hit the sack at or before 8 or 9pm. It’s a full seven to eight hours by the time the clock ticks to 4am. Why so early to bed? you ask. Exactly. I lie down to help settle Burt, who after a nap from 6pm is suddenly on aContinue reading “Why I am up at 4”
Transition
It’s in my journal. “Burt has so much trouble with transitions.”* Then it hits me, Burt’s transitions drive me nuts. It takes so long for him to get up out of his chair. I timed it one day, and it took 45 minutes. That was with two of us assisting him. I just get soContinue reading “Transition”
Rest
There is considerable chaos Among the Chux on his bed.He moans, complaining as heSleeps. If the dreams are hardI will hear their wild stories inThe morning as he awakes toShare the narratives of hisImaginings and the pains hisMoans express. Yet his sleepIs fulsome, generous, relaxed
A good week. I’m still stressed. But it was good.
Here I am. I am affirming my positives despite the stress of last week. Let me count the ways: [I had a little extra stress from the unexpectedly threatening phone call that I got on Friday. You know that feeling when you shake everything off and then have a nightmare.] Today, the hospital bed arrivedContinue reading “A good week. I’m still stressed. But it was good.”
I did it again
Oversharing, longer answers than the question called for is the hallmark of my current convos. A neighbor asked how I was doing. She was sincere, but I tried to be brief. Midway to just saying, “we’re ok, thanks.” I proceeded to add, “we just got him a hospital bed, so that’s a whole new levelContinue reading “I did it again”
Found poetry
No, not a form of new age writing, just a poem which in our current context is sad. I envy you,remembering theaddresses of yourchildhood I remember nothingNot even grudges orThe names of friends or neighbors If memory is all we haveI have only you and ouryears togetherI remember all thatEvery touch, every tender moment MemoriesContinue reading “Found poetry”
Sweet
In some ways, he’s more my child than my husband. He seems to acknowledge this on some level when he refers to me as his mother; of course, when he does, it’s part of his confusions, delusions, and hallucinations. When I came back from an unusually late outing in which I enjoyed the hospitality ofContinue reading “Sweet”
Grateful
It’s easy to find little annoyances that “ruin” our day but honestly it’s just as easy to find gratitude. I am heading to meet some fellow caregivers at a party. Alzheimer’s Association 6th Annual Caregiver Appreciation Event will be our first in person meet-up. Those of us who’ve been answering writer prompts will also shareContinue reading “Grateful”
Too much
A side effect of Burt’s diagnosis has been my tendency to grossly overshare. How are you is a simple question but my answer is overloaded. Too often full of the kind of detail we bill as TMI. No simple answer. I try to keep it light or funny but I definitely talk too much. IContinue reading “Too much”
this is our life 