A recent revelation that perhaps Burt recognized me as a presence on the phone was confirmed. Sort of. He heard me speaking with a visitor in the livingroom; the voice led to his asking Ruthy where Tamara was. A kindred carer reported that her husband insisted on calling her on the phone. Like me onContinue reading “Call me!”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
The alternating
We got Burt an alternating air pressure mattress. [Amazon carries everything, and Medicare waits until pressure wounds are a dire concern before providing this remedy.] He was lifted (as usual, these days kicking and screaming) into his wheelchair so his aide and his OT could set up the bed. I sat with him in theContinue reading “The alternating”
Imitation
A friend made an objection when I defined a puree as a «velouté.« She suggested it sounded like baby food even when I prefaced it as “ersatz“. Nonetheless, I continue to find the texture of potatoes with milk and lots of butter after a trip through my blender pleasing. And pleasantly haute. These soft mashedContinue reading “Imitation”
There’s a method
What snack would you eat right now? My morning was spent toiling over a blender. Lest you pity me my arduous labors, it’s nothing. Really. Cooking was abandoned long before Burt’s diagnosis. He had grown indifferent to what I served. I choose to blame a phase pre-LBD, but perhaps my skills had grown indifferent. SinceContinue reading “There’s a method”
Support groups
Supported was a tangent that derailed my intention to discuss support groups. These have been a vital life-line on my side of the journey. Early on, his first neuro team at Mt Sinai guided me to regular sessions with their social worker. What a gift that was. The social worker from his current neurologist’s officeContinue reading “Support groups”
Supported
Burt has me and his excellent aides as his support. He gets visit from a very caring OT and PT team. He also has a fantastic crew of doctors and nurses from Weill Cornell Center on Aging to keep his well-being on track. It’s not easy maintaining his quality of life at the best itContinue reading “Supported”
It isn’t but
It feels like betrayal. I know it isn’t, but since I say Love is lovlier how could I? Since Burt’s been bedbound, I felt it was time. Since he’s in such a decline, he couldn’t participate. I met with his doctor to file a MOLST on his behalf. We also opted for a palliative approachContinue reading “It isn’t but”
Love is lovelier
Oh dear. The second time around. 🎼 For me, the second time is really the years after diagnosis and the symptoms. I am the second wife, but Burt is my first. And only. I know, I am laying it on with extra schmaltz. There is something to what I heard from a recently widowed LBDContinue reading “Love is lovelier”
To care and protect
My mission since Burt’s diagnosis [the big scary dx] more than 4 years ago has been to protect him. Of course. That’s it. I have pinpointed my malaise. I can’t fix this as one of the prompts in my grief writing support group put it. That phrase sums up my frustration in the most succinctContinue reading “To care and protect”
The honeymoon is over
It’s not for me. I am saddened and relieved that I am no longer the most important person in Burt’s life. No, there isn’t anyone else, although during Lewy’s tenure, he’s had infatuations. Early in the journey, he asked our lawyer about divorce so he could date one of his caregivers. Why not? She wasContinue reading “The honeymoon is over”
