TheRealTamara

Love

Ours is a love story, so we have ourForever after, although sometimes,It resides with sorrow, not always aHappily, like in the fairy tales whereAll’s well because it ends well. Aren’t All endings sad? Our forever love isIn this moment. Ours is a love story.

Romance

There is still a deep romantic connection between my love and I. This despite the chaste status of our relations these days. I feel the pull at my heart, and I have often heard his version of our story as well. He has wanted to “run away,” he says, but “there’s some chemistry between us.”Continue reading “Romance”

So very, very slow

Every move, every change of venue, let’s say from the bedroom to the big brown chair, is a project. Burt notices my lack of patience for these life-altering transitions. “You’re not being nice,” he might say or more cuttingly “boy everybody here is so rotten.” Developing a “wait and let it develop” attitude might beContinue reading “So very, very slow”

A peaceful afternoon

Self Care

Overrated! Just kidding, but I spent the better part of my morning reading back emails of Lapham’s Quarterly. I was waiting for a delayed dental appointment, which launched an hour later than scheduled. Lapham’s is very informative, and I caught snippets from “news” of Babe Ruth and an explanation of ether and electricity from NikolaContinue reading “Self Care”

Not to worry

It’s natural for caregivers to be vigilant about changes and signs. It’s in the nature of our person with dementia, particularly a partner with Lewy Body, to give us cause for worry. So when we fret, it has to be over reasonable concerns. And in measured tones. My tendency to panic has been noted, evenContinue reading “Not to worry”

Battling Burt

I need to be honest here. I said, “Stay positive.” I fully intended to do so. Fell right off that wagon fast. Burt refused to enjoy being out with me on Saturday. I mean, he was antsy and kept saying that he wanted to go home. My tactic to keep him engaged was all overContinue reading “Battling Burt”

Nod like you mean yes

For the sake of a quieter life with Lewy, I should learn to be more agreeable. It’s a reflex for me to correct for the sake of accuracy. Does it really matter? If he says we should go up there, pointing at the ceiling, for dinner, no long explanation that we live on the topContinue reading “Nod like you mean yes”

A good day

It’s so much easier to want to keep up the care after a pleasant day. Burt awoke early but not hours early. He asked me about a half dozen times when I was leaving. This question is usually followed by the inevitable when are you coming back. I heard that too but for today theContinue reading “A good day”

Focus on the upside

It may be harder to keep a focus on love and kindness as your pwd’s world unravels. Burt is less of who he was in our every daily interaction. I hear wild stories about his many wives. He tells me of his safe-but-crazy rides in “his car” with a group of friends by way of encouragingContinue reading “Focus on the upside”