TheRealTamara

Perplexing

T-shirts with slogans have sprung up to agitate my Burt. It seems to have originated with a recently acquired resentment of my gym. I love my logoed gear! Burt told me a wild story about a woman (they always look just like me) who was wearing the shirt (he ran his fingers over the writingContinue reading “Perplexing”

The fall

I pride myself in pulling no punches when I share our day to day. So, how did I really feel when I got the call from the aide. It’s very scary hearing of a fall. “If it were a broken bone or if it required a trip to the ER,” my mind raced with theContinue reading “The fall”

Rx for saving

Not really part of my assignment, but I think this might be helpful. I have had great luck in saving on Burt’s prescriptions with Single Care. It’s an app. Or they will send you a savings card. The dollar amounts have been impressive enough for me to want to pass this on.

Tumble and fall

Burt is okay after taking a tumble this afternoon. He was with his caregiver, who called me and EMS. His aide said he kind of went down as she was trying to make the seat of his walker accessible to him. We got great EMTs whom Burt attacked and abused. They checked him out andContinue reading “Tumble and fall”

Decisions

As this disease progresses, the caregiver is obliged to make decisions for her beloved pwd. Mine lost most of his executive function with the first blush of his illness. Nonetheless, he could participate in some decisions I made on his behalf. He refused all medications in the beginning. I felt it was his right. HeContinue reading “Decisions”

Signage

Burt is very confused these days, questioning where he is and where he lives. My solution had a two-fold purpose. It would provide an activity to overcome some of his boredom. The activity would give us signs we could hang around the apartment. The signs might help him feel more oriented. All he was requiredContinue reading “Signage”

Doubts

Burt’s asking me who I am is creating a fault line in my self- confidence. I mean, I am still pretty sure who I am. Just not always sure who he thinks I am. When it was clear, for instance, that his pushy wife was becoming a pain, I was able to own up. IContinue reading “Doubts”

It’s hard to imagine

My smart and capable husband is living in a world outside of my reality. Actually, outside of any reality. He has many wives, one of which he says is not nice to him. Guilty as charged. I direct him too much. Praise him too little. Worry that something will go awry. All of this singlyContinue reading “It’s hard to imagine”

Projections

The other morning, Burt told me that I was losing my mind. I was saddened by his matter of fact tone as much as by the message. He had some additional wisdom when he informed me that going to the gym was killing me. Delusional trains chug through our days and evenings. In the earlyContinue reading “Projections”

Abbrev

In caregiving circles, there are lots of shortcuts by which we communicate. This is not a glossary, just some abbreviations that come to mind: We never seem to shorten (seems right as the work isn’t shortened) caregiver or caregiving. There are lots of symptoms that also maintain their long form. Reduplicative paranesia is a mouthfulContinue reading “Abbrev”