Burt has a susceptibility to falling in love. I have mentioned it before. This morning, I noticed a new criterion; [the first is that the “girls” treat him well or ‘are nice to me’ as he puts it]. “We met when you brought me breakfast,” he says. Since we had had so many issues withContinue reading “Easy”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
The question of sleep
people who wear sleep trackers on a “perfectionistic quest for the ideal sleep” actually have their sleep become worse. If that sounds like you, it might be time to take a step back. “Sleep is a passive process,” one doctor told Kate. “It is to be protected, not forced — or ‘maximized.’” In short, windingContinue reading “The question of sleep”
Harder=Easier
It’s hard to explain. It makes little sense even to me. But… There is something about the challenging symptoms and behaviors that, as they pile on, invite a more vigorous response. He has wilder delusions, more vivid hallucinations, less coherent responses, and my capacity to deal is supercharged. Yes. I have bags under my eyesContinue reading “Harder=Easier”
Smooth fella
Burt falls in love easily. Thanks to Capgras Syndrome, I am one of dozens of Tamaras in his life. A new me surfaces on many a morning. There is no convincing him I am the “real” the “original” the “favorite” wife. This is especially so after lover boy introduces himself as single or single-and-hates-his-wife. IContinue reading “Smooth fella”
My guy
Exasperating though he is…. It’s a long shift when early rising and a later bedtime turn the day into 16 hours. In much of this time, he is totally and naturally confused. His conversation, as I may have mentioned, is a constant deposition of theories and ideas. There is an insight occasionally which jars meContinue reading “My guy”
Funny you should ask
There is nothing funny about having dementia or caring for a loved one with dementia. Yet there is nothing more welcome to patient or carer than a hearty laugh. I devise amusing (to me) ways of looking at our plight. I picture Lewy as a roller-coaster (as it is most regularly described) on and offContinue reading “Funny you should ask”
Workshop thoughts
He’s looking good. The invisible burden. He’s doing well, they’ll say. No response to that makes it any easier. Yes, it’s a progressive illness, and we’re doing what we can. He has good days. I’m glad you got him on a better day. Your visit certainly perked him up. In truth, I have rarely hadContinue reading “Workshop thoughts”
A poem of our time
I say, “Yes. We are together34 years.” I know to you itFeels like we met yesterday. Yesterday. A new experienceFresh. Who are you? WhichWife? Where did we meet? Questions. Wide-eyed likeYou never asked them, or I Never answered. We met.I am impatient, but shouldNot be. It really is the firstTime you’ve asked where When. Who.Continue reading “A poem of our time”
Paying the piper
The cost of care is astoundingly high. My time has come to get some help with those costs. Fingers crossed. It would be unrealistic for me to try to meet Burt’s needs without the aid of professional aides. I know Burt’s needs will only increase. It’s a scary proposition. Medicaid is an option for someContinue reading “Paying the piper”
You are invited
This is a Save-the-Date Burt turns 85 this November. He had a downturn. Then, the Lewy roller coaster started back up the hill. Sure, there’s a new baseline that has him looking less like the coherent engaged Burton of 2023, but…. Today, he showed gratitude along with his affection. He’s interested in people and activities.Continue reading “You are invited”
