You and your spouse have a dynamic. It is likely, nay certain, that that dynamic will change as dementia takes hold. If you are like me, reluctant to let go, wishing it weren’t so, you will try to keep the rhythm of your relationship. It isn’t there. Sadly. They tell me acceptance will make itContinue reading “Rhythms”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Growth
What experiences in life helped you grow the most? Let’s look at the question in the all- consuming context of caregiving. Other experiences have contributed to my professional growth. They found a place on my resume. Falling in love helped me grow in my heart and soul. Then along came my love’s dementia and IContinue reading “Growth”
Communication
Some of our conversations feel like this “Challenge Game.”
In appreciation
Burt is still a difficult man. The diagnosis didn’t change that. He had quirks that irked when he was healthy. Let’s be honest, if you’re married, then your spouse has an annoying habit or two. His illness had me step back a little. It put my annoyance in perspective. The anxiety he’d lived with allContinue reading “In appreciation”
Support
There is a unique and uniquely helpful support group offered by New York alz.org. I have been participating in this wonderful writers group this past couple of months. Each session, we are guided by helpful prompts to explore our experiences in the caregiving journey. We then take some 15 to 20 minutes to write itContinue reading “Support”
Understanding
It’s nice when Burt gets the gist of my writing about him. When it contains the promise of my love as in the poem I created for him the other night, he’s a happy audience. So much of what I say is distorted on its way to meet him that it can be a frustrationContinue reading “Understanding”
Is it challenging?
What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months? Staying positive and appreciating the opportunities that caregiving offers is the biggest challenge. It’s too easy to find the hards in the journey. Focusing on those makes it just a little harder. Looking at the love that binds us together as weContinue reading “Is it challenging?”
What would Burt say?
What advice would you give to your teenage self? Don’t get old is advice he’s meted out. Another favorite is don’t get dementia. Burt would definitely suggest those bits to his teenage self and yours. Life remains an enigma. We don’t know where we’re going or by what means we’ll get there. “Don’t get old”Continue reading “What would Burt say?”
The good and the…
When I blog about Burt’s Lewy, I am not sure that I am being respectful of his dignity. I don’t know how he would respond if he knew I was sharing his worst moments as well as his best. I share much of our life experiences in the spirit of caring and love with whichContinue reading “The good and the…”
Lewy is unlike other dementias
Alzheimer’s is an orderly dementia. It progresses in stages. There is a pattern as its awful symptoms afflict your loved one over time. No dementia is easy. They are each unique. Lewy Body is unpredictable. Symptoms come and go. You and your person can be plunged into troubling situations one day, only to have aContinue reading “Lewy is unlike other dementias”
this is our life 