… comes with a little anxiety and agitation. His little puff of steam uphill comes with a return to other issues. Burt is a bit more anxious in his delusions; his fears are about someone hurting him. He’s more worried, whereas he seemed so contented during the big decline. I think because his world hasContinue reading “The little uptick”
Category Archives: Each day, a new day
Burt’s ups
There was a decline, and now he is showing a little pick up. A little one but marked by chattiness and some connection. He’s more engaged this week. He appears to know me a little better than he did. And lord, does he love to talk. He is still chatting with his make- believe friends,Continue reading “Burt’s ups”
The honeymoon is over
It’s not for me. I am saddened and relieved that I am no longer the most important person in Burt’s life. No, there isn’t anyone else, although during Lewy’s tenure, he’s had infatuations. Early in the journey, he asked our lawyer about divorce so he could date one of his caregivers. Why not? She wasContinue reading “The honeymoon is over”
Down down up
When I speak of Burt’s return or of an upswing, I am grading on a curve. After his recent declines, he has not achieved clarity, coherence, or cognitive functioning. He tells me of imagined trips where he met people with wonderfully unlikely names. He insists I bring Tamara to him when I say, “I’m yourContinue reading “Down down up”
A timeline
Burt had a sudden downturn starting in October. Although I have documented Burt’s decline, I am still unsure of the actual events. His decline has been incremental and gradual. It has also come on suddenly, precipitously and unexpectedly. In October, things like confusion and hallucinations seemed more noticeable. Soon thereafter, one of his aides andContinue reading “A timeline”
Moment to moment
Burt’s fever broke overnight, almost as suddenly as it started. He was immediately a bit less disoriented. He was able to speak more clearly. We were just chatting, and he mentioned his ex-wife‘s name. I was prepared for this. I was prepared for it to hurt when I asked who she was. He did say,Continue reading “Moment to moment”
Music
It’s medicinal. It can jog memories; it makes you feel good; it works on the mind. You know how music can bring a smile to your face. You know how music can make your love-with-dementia happy. There is scientific evidence for this. Neuro scientific evidence. The podcast here also tells us that there is redundancyContinue reading “Music”
He’s back
Burt’s decline has been very distressing. Yesterday, he slept all day. He didn’t respond to his aide and this scared her. Today, he’s back and chatting. Giving advice, happy. Ah, Lewy. He’s staying in bed but eating well and talking a lot.
Why I am up at 4
My circadian clock is resetting. I hit the sack at or before 8 or 9pm. It’s a full seven to eight hours by the time the clock ticks to 4am. Why so early to bed? you ask. Exactly. I lie down to help settle Burt, who after a nap from 6pm is suddenly on aContinue reading “Why I am up at 4”
Sweet
In some ways, he’s more my child than my husband. He seems to acknowledge this on some level when he refers to me as his mother; of course, when he does, it’s part of his confusions, delusions, and hallucinations. When I came back from an unusually late outing in which I enjoyed the hospitality ofContinue reading “Sweet”
this is our life 