Is that what caregiving feels like? Racing down, unsure of the brakes, one second-guess away from taking a wrong turn. It certainly might. Caregiving can take your breath away as if the journey is an adventure. It can also have you holding your breath. It’s a profound and transformative experience.
Category Archives: Insights
Dr. Google
He’s probably famously the most frequently addressed “medical” consultant. There are lots of caveat emptors that go with his cred. Dr. Google doesn’t know your family history. Doesn’t even know you. May not be familiar with all the possible causes that led to your current plight. All that is to say, I am not referringContinue reading “Dr. Google”
Symptoms?
It’s sometimes referred to as LBD, sometimes DLB, depending on the genesis of the disease. It can progress in differing ways. It can begin as Parkinson’s. It may not and some patients only show the symptoms of tremors and shuffling later. Burt had very little of this. He had hallucinations, severe but not scary, inContinue reading “Symptoms?”
Over troubling waters
via Photo Challenge: Bridge My local bridge always smelled of white bread baking when I was growing up and we came over it from Queens. In those days, it was just the 59th Street Bridge, now it’s named in honor of one of the city’s recent mayors, Ed Koch. The bakery on the Queens sideContinue reading “Over troubling waters”
So, what now?
I am aimless the day after Burt has left his body and his body has been taken away by the men from the mortuary. I visit the funeral home to fill out paperwork that will carry him away. Even further. Or carry his body away. I turn spiritual of a sudden. I know his soul,Continue reading “So, what now?”
Why do I
It’s my private pain, I avow. It feels a little unseemly to be airing it so publicly. I’ve admitted to oversharing. This daily note-taking and sending it out to all of you – isn’t that major information-overload? It has also felt like I was invading Burt’s privacy. He’s not sharing the intimate details of hisContinue reading “Why do I”
Call me!
A recent revelation that perhaps Burt recognized me as a presence on the phone was confirmed. Sort of. He heard me speaking with a visitor in the livingroom; the voice led to his asking Ruthy where Tamara was. A kindred carer reported that her husband insisted on calling her on the phone. Like me onContinue reading “Call me!”
Down down up
When I speak of Burt’s return or of an upswing, I am grading on a curve. After his recent declines, he has not achieved clarity, coherence, or cognitive functioning. He tells me of imagined trips where he met people with wonderfully unlikely names. He insists I bring Tamara to him when I say, “I’m yourContinue reading “Down down up”
Every little thing
Who said «The unexamined life isNot worth living,« I have taken thatTo heart, instilled it with a power soI examine every thing as it happensAs if by tearing at it, I will find a gemOf wisdom, learn a life lesson evenIf it’s from myself alone for myselfAlone. «Lest I forget« is a phrase I StickContinue reading “Every little thing”
this is our life 