Burt’s fever broke overnight, almost as suddenly as it started. He was immediately a bit less disoriented. He was able to speak more clearly. We were just chatting, and he mentioned his ex-wife‘s name. I was prepared for this. I was prepared for it to hurt when I asked who she was. He did say,Continue reading “Moment to moment”
Category Archives: Grateful
He’s back
Burt’s decline has been very distressing. Yesterday, he slept all day. He didn’t respond to his aide and this scared her. Today, he’s back and chatting. Giving advice, happy. Ah, Lewy. He’s staying in bed but eating well and talking a lot.
Love, loss
Last night, Burt was very vocal. I believe he was mostly speaking in his sleep. Much of this conversation last night addressed complaints. He called out my name a few times. In this chatter, he fluctuated between an unfavorable and a positive view of me. It was clear that he knew who I was. ThisContinue reading “Love, loss”
Grateful, appreciative, and thankful
It’s Thanksgiving. Talk of gratitude is as prevalent as the turkey on our plates. We are parsing what is worthy of our appreciation as we sit down for today’s feast. The original idea of this holiday was to show thanks to God for the bounty in our lives. Gratitude practice is at the least aContinue reading “Grateful, appreciative, and thankful”
A good week. I’m still stressed. But it was good.
Here I am. I am affirming my positives despite the stress of last week. Let me count the ways: [I had a little extra stress from the unexpectedly threatening phone call that I got on Friday. You know that feeling when you shake everything off and then have a nightmare.] Today, the hospital bed arrivedContinue reading “A good week. I’m still stressed. But it was good.”
I did it again
Oversharing, longer answers than the question called for is the hallmark of my current convos. A neighbor asked how I was doing. She was sincere, but I tried to be brief. Midway to just saying, “we’re ok, thanks.” I proceeded to add, “we just got him a hospital bed, so that’s a whole new levelContinue reading “I did it again”
Sweet
In some ways, he’s more my child than my husband. He seems to acknowledge this on some level when he refers to me as his mother; of course, when he does, it’s part of his confusions, delusions, and hallucinations. When I came back from an unusually late outing in which I enjoyed the hospitality ofContinue reading “Sweet”
Too much
A side effect of Burt’s diagnosis has been my tendency to grossly overshare. How are you is a simple question but my answer is overloaded. Too often full of the kind of detail we bill as TMI. No simple answer. I try to keep it light or funny but I definitely talk too much. IContinue reading “Too much”
Party king
A birthday surprise
“I am never going here with you again,” Burt whispers. Maybe he even said “anywhere with you,” but you get the gist. It was a wonderful party. Our friends brought him thoughtful gifts. At my suggestion, we sang him the birthday song. (Do we still owe someone royalties on that?) The first arrivals talked amongContinue reading “A birthday surprise”
this is our life 