Burt’s body remained in the bed room until after 7:30. The ME when my dear S called him on my behalf was very apologetic. The funeral home sent someone from a NJ parlor because they close at 5pm. He was at rest but 8 hours was a long hard time for me to wait toContinue reading “Eerie”
Category Archives: memories
Out of the past
Memories are a way of reliving the past. Memories are also a way to bring good feelings back. I spend more time with that past now. In my present, I also spend time living a heavy sorrow. From time to time, events and occasions trigger both memory and sorrow. We did this thing, checking outContinue reading “Out of the past”
Losing him again
He’s been several people over the past many months. Well, this is not at all unexpected; aren’t we all many people over a lifespan. I look at him sleeping now and regret that I can’t recall with any confidence what he was like two months ago or four years ago. I know who he isContinue reading “Losing him again”
Valentines
Speaking of the day of hearts and flowers, and I did mention it, this is another particularly difficult holiday. It’s that love stuff that gets us. Most of us have seen our marriages transformed by Lewy [or, really, any dementia]. Intimacy is not what it used to be. Love, of course, is a resilient andContinue reading “Valentines”
Memories
What makes you feel nostalgic? A YouTube video of snow cascading outside a coffee shop with jazz pleasantly playing prompted «It’s a slow game, but it’s good« from Burt. Lately, Burt will comment on a “movie” he feels he’s watching even with the TV off, so mention of the «game« didn’t throw me. For me,Continue reading “Memories”
Once upon
It’s very exciting to hear that one of my favorites is taking on the role of Mama Rose. I could easily say one of our favorites. It’s a bit sad that we won’t be there to witness her interpretation. For the 2003 revival, Bernadette Peters made her entrance down the orchestra aisle, stopping by Burt’s seat.Continue reading “Once upon”
We traveled a little
Burt had many anxieties when we first met, had had them for years. He feared train tunnels and getting stuck in them. He always faced his phobias. He planned trips for us, often by train. In fact, trains became our favorite mode of transportation. Our trips were special. We went to Mystic and spent aContinue reading “We traveled a little”
Grateful, appreciative, and thankful
It’s Thanksgiving. Talk of gratitude is as prevalent as the turkey on our plates. We are parsing what is worthy of our appreciation as we sit down for today’s feast. The original idea of this holiday was to show thanks to God for the bounty in our lives. Gratitude practice is at the least aContinue reading “Grateful, appreciative, and thankful”
Found poetry
No, not a form of new age writing, just a poem which in our current context is sad. I envy you,remembering theaddresses of yourchildhood I remember nothingNot even grudges orThe names of friends or neighbors If memory is all we haveI have only you and ouryears togetherI remember all thatEvery touch, every tender moment MemoriesContinue reading “Found poetry”
Sweet
In some ways, he’s more my child than my husband. He seems to acknowledge this on some level when he refers to me as his mother; of course, when he does, it’s part of his confusions, delusions, and hallucinations. When I came back from an unusually late outing in which I enjoyed the hospitality ofContinue reading “Sweet”
this is our life 