Sorry to have this answer Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to. Marriage isn’t rightly described as a phase. Some are soon ended. Others last from highschool sweetheart on, til. Ours started in midlife and ended with Burt’s death. Nearly 33 years married and almost 35 together. Maybe, like hisContinue reading “Glad you asked”
Category Archives: memories
Esplanade
D and I made plans to take a walk today. The weather’s been mild. Maybe we’ll cross the bridge that goes over the FDR to the Riverwalk. Burt and I used to walk there all the time. I mean, before he got sick, too. For a while, when he was still walking, we would goContinue reading “Esplanade”
So, what now?
I am aimless the day after Burt has left his body and his body has been taken away by the men from the mortuary. I visit the funeral home to fill out paperwork that will carry him away. Even further. Or carry his body away. I turn spiritual of a sudden. I know his soul,Continue reading “So, what now?”
2-25-2025 [to Burt]
My burden’s been lifted, orLessened. I search insteadFor the purpose I’ve lost orMisplaced. Caregiving is aJob or a job description, soOnce it passes you are noLonger giving care.The workIs over, finished, the burdenLifted, and you by definitionNo longer occupy that job.By definition caregiver doesNot define you, it is not whoYou are. It doesn’t define me.IContinue reading “2-25-2025 [to Burt]”
Eerie
Burt’s body remained in the bed room until after 7:30. The ME when my dear S called him on my behalf was very apologetic. The funeral home sent someone from a NJ parlor because they close at 5pm. He was at rest but 8 hours was a long hard time for me to wait toContinue reading “Eerie”
Out of the past
Memories are a way of reliving the past. Memories are also a way to bring good feelings back. I spend more time with that past now. In my present, I also spend time living a heavy sorrow. From time to time, events and occasions trigger both memory and sorrow. We did this thing, checking outContinue reading “Out of the past”
Losing him again
He’s been several people over the past many months. Well, this is not at all unexpected; aren’t we all many people over a lifespan. I look at him sleeping now and regret that I can’t recall with any confidence what he was like two months ago or four years ago. I know who he isContinue reading “Losing him again”
Valentines
Speaking of the day of hearts and flowers, and I did mention it, this is another particularly difficult holiday. It’s that love stuff that gets us. Most of us have seen our marriages transformed by Lewy [or, really, any dementia]. Intimacy is not what it used to be. Love, of course, is a resilient andContinue reading “Valentines”
Memories
What makes you feel nostalgic? A YouTube video of snow cascading outside a coffee shop with jazz pleasantly playing prompted «It’s a slow game, but it’s good« from Burt. Lately, Burt will comment on a “movie” he feels he’s watching even with the TV off, so mention of the «game« didn’t throw me. For me,Continue reading “Memories”
Once upon
It’s very exciting to hear that one of my favorites is taking on the role of Mama Rose. I could easily say one of our favorites. It’s a bit sad that we won’t be there to witness her interpretation. For the 2003 revival, Bernadette Peters made her entrance down the orchestra aisle, stopping by Burt’s seat.Continue reading “Once upon”
this is our life 