Uncategorized – Page 4 – this is our life

Here’s how it went

Here’s what happened. First, Burt seemed listless. That was unusual for him. I was out at the gym a lot and he was at home a lot. He had fallen and cut his cheek badly a year earlier. He had had a bout with never-explained double vision. That was a couple of years before. AndContinue reading “Here’s how it went”

Last day

The Medical Examiner failed to notify my police detail to release Burt’s body. This was an hours long oversight which involved not just waves of paramedics but lasted through three shifts of cops. We asked the first of them if R, Burt’s aide, could go home but they and he lingered at home. I calledContinue reading “Last day”

Glad you asked

Sorry to have this answer Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to. Marriage isn’t rightly described as a phase. Some are soon ended. Others last from highschool sweetheart on, til. Ours started in midlife and ended with Burt’s death. Nearly 33 years married and almost 35 together. Maybe, like hisContinue reading “Glad you asked”

The from before

You met Burt here after the Lewy Body Dementia had taken a toll. For years, as it progressed, he maintained a lot of who he was. And who he was was funny, friendly, inquisitive. Loving, caring, smart. It started to really diminish him this past fall, LBD did. He lost his sociability. He gave upContinue reading “The from before”

I love you. Farewell

When Burt started having hallucinations (again) in the past several months, they (like the first ones at the beginning of Lewy) were mostly benign. I think it’s safe to say he felt safe in his home. I am grateful for that. The worst might have been that he needed to take someone from his crewContinue reading “I love you. Farewell”

2-25-2025 + 2

Burt just passed and yesterday was odd and aimless although I had things to do and did them. I miss Burt although saying it out loud is stating the obvious. A redundancy. I miss his aide. I miss the routine of our days. Back to the redundancy: I miss Burt. I told him I willContinue reading “2-25-2025 + 2”

Some recent memories

Again and then

When your heart breaks, youCan only think “oh, I love you ” No one should love so muchThat it hurts so much. Maybe.Eschew love. Altogether. YouWould be spared the pain, theIntensity of the despair that Loving brings. Maybe. I loveYou too much to care that itHurts, that your pain is mine,That my heart breaks forContinue reading “Again and then”

Jazzy

My discovery on my pared-down- no-more-cable teevee of jazz videos wingtailed nicely with an email. My friend BW found the must hear 20 jazz hits. More on those soon. I’ve been spending a lot of time with Night time jazz cafes. So let’s talk about those first. This is a category of YouTubes which IContinue reading “Jazzy”

It’s the little things

What’s your favorite candy? Memory is a blessing. We can live in and relive our favorite things. And the things we loved that maybe are now lost. I mentioned that moment while I stood by a V’Day display of chocolates and realized Burt no longer could appreciate that Hershey bar. That small realization came with Continue reading “It’s the little things”