It’s in the touristy tradition to find everything we see on our tours «the most beautiful.» That is how I feel about my city.
Around and about
Which topics would you like to be more informed about? “Gawking at buildings,” that’s how I described my hobby to my future husband even before we met. It’s something I truly enjoy, but alas do it with only a dilletante’s understanding. I think this facade is a treat. Love the balcony [half-balc] and then the […]
I wish I knew
Sweetness is an acquired taste. I know for a fact that til I met my husband, I had an inclination toward the savory which has since turned into a full-on sweet tooth. I also recall being appalled at the saccharine– in films, in books, in life. I have since come to have a sentimental streak […]
Too random…
Sweetness. That’s a nice thing to get from your husband.
Everyday with him is a gift. Here are a few of the things I treasure about my husband: his care and concern for me he is an opinionated man whose convictions are subject to sentimental reversals he is quick of temper but always wants to make peace, with everyone not just with me he insists […]
Cherished
This was a post in 2017, before LBD crept into our lives. When it did, I found that Burt showed up with the same qualities he had always had.
Estrangement is a double edged sword and anyway you hold it, be careful because you are
Family
likely to get hurt.
Read, if you will, the reblogged post that speaks of a birthday celebration that took place in 2001, the year our estranged granddaughter turned 13 (pre-estrangement), just days after the 9 11 attacks. It’s about the pains and realities of families on the outs.
In my widowhood, we are
Still a couple, a couple
One of whom has absented
Himself, you know who you
Are, we were two, and so
Close in everything we did,
I am doing some of those
Things alone now. I am a
Widow, without that guy I
Miss, when will I, will I be
Just me alone, doing the
Things we, a couple, had
Done, […]
Together. Alone.
Immediately after writing this query into life after Burt’s death and a declaration of a kind of an independence, I went to get a flu shot.
It stung, and I thought, on the verge of telling the nurse, that the sting would be satisfying to Burt, who liked the proof that he’d gotten the vaccine.
When an injection was painless, Burt needed my reassurance that I had seen the needle go in. It’s very hard keeping my experiences just to myself alone. They are always a little bit about him too. That’s fine, having him still in my life is very reassuring.
I am not a believer. I am an atheist. Without a religious allegiance or a belief in a god or an afterlife, you would think I would be free from all other superstitions. In fact, I inherited much of my magical thinking from my mother. She, too, disdained religion, but lord she had a world […]
Superstitious
Magical thinking, isn’t that the phrase Joan Didion used to describe how we deal with the death of a loved one. It was how Joan Didion described the year in her life after a tragic loss. I used the expression to suggest a superstitious view.
My year, now approaching two, after Burt’s death has not been one spent in anything magical although I have been doing a lot of thinking. And remembering.
My friend wondered where our dreamscapes come from when I shared my dream with her. My dream of Burt, probably lastTh or Fr was meant to be noted on the following morning. I forgot to write it down then. When I did recall it, it struck me as odd, funny and pleasant. We wanted to […]
Dreaming
Burt introduced me to baseball. I did know it existed of course, but did not appreciate the beauty of a double play until he explained it at the ballpark.
There are many myths about the origins of the American pastime.
One is that Pittsfield Invented Baseball. It’s a long story and I will present you with a digest of it but Pittsfield did not invent baseball anymore than Abner Doubleday did.
Baseball evolved from Cricket and Rounders. British sports.
What Pittsfield did do was protect the windows of its newly built town hall from balls hurled within 80 yards.
The ordinance banning cricket or baseball or bat ball etc from the grounds of the meeting hall was dated September 5, 1791. Early days in baseball history.
For the record, it appears that baseball was not invented in Cooperstown either. As I said, baseball evolved.
Pittsfield has a baseball stadium and at one time it was home to a Triple A Mets farm team. Burt did take me to see a couple of games there.
Yesterday, I was thinking about what it would be like spending the afternoon on a river- facing bench across the 78th Street bridge.
These were late night thoughts and late night sadnesses.
There was sadness in the thought; I couldn’t do so without missing Burt who frequently sat with me on that bench.
It had been our happy place for so many happy years.
The memories are of blissful times, yet I cannot imagine taking my spot by the river without him.
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