You know what, I quit Based on A Prompt From My Caregiver Writing Group In the rearview mirror when I watch my caregiving technique, I wince at this. Yes, I would throw my hands in the air in dramatic exasperation. “I can’t, I give up,” I would say, making for the bedroom door. You knowContinue reading “Quitting, is that really an option?”
Tag Archives: #caregiving
What next
When that diagnosis of dementia comes, it’s natural to wonder how the future will look. Dementia is unpredictable, LBD perhaps a tad more so then Alzheimers, but all dementias are unpredictable. It’s hard to never be sure what’s in store for us. The uncertainty can be very disorienting for the caregiver. I also imagine thatContinue reading “What next”
Take care
It hadn’t occurred to me until my friend T said it. Burt chose me. He knew I would be there for him. I am always uncertain when I say that, although she assured me it was true. There were all those times his wife was missing. Did she go to Walgreens, she was always atContinue reading “Take care”
We are humble
This is not a brag Caregiving carries with it a grand responsibility. Rather than make us grandiose, it humbles us. One of my caregiver friends is as thrilled by the purple umbrella she gifted herself as a diva is by pearls, champagne and fancy chocolates. No diva, but a queen of caring. My own experienceContinue reading “We are humble”
Joy
In my post Advice, I said that I found joy during our journey with Burt’s dementia. It sounds Pollyanna-ish, so let me expound. Caring for someone you love is a gift of grace. The gift is reciprocal, so when Burt was aware enough to thank me, that thanks was my gift. When he wasn’t aware,Continue reading “Joy”
Grieving the loss
Caregiving is the hardest job I ever had. Or, it was until Burt died and I suddenly had a much harder job. This, like my caring for him, is truly a labor of love. The work of missing Burt involves the pleasure of remembering him. It’s a consolation prize but not really a prize sinceContinue reading “Grieving the loss”
Once upon a time
Recollecting Burt’s time in the rehab center today gave me a little relief although the memory was hard. The fact that I could affirm that I stood for him when he needed my protection felt good. The nursing home-rehab was not a good place. I would not have placed Burt there over the long haul.Continue reading “Once upon a time”
Falling
Some things I remembered this morning When Burt was in the rehab after a fall in which he broke a hip bone during a bout with Covid, he’d call me with an escape plan. He said we could meet by the front door and sneak out to go home. He’d wake his roommates yelling outContinue reading “Falling”
Morning musings
He falls asleep shortly after I feed him. While he eats, he has the penetrating look of a serious child. He chews slowly, with great deliberation. He grabs my hand, the one holding the bottle to his lips, when he drinks. It all breaks my heart. There is a picture of Burt at 16 sittingContinue reading “Morning musings”
A sea change
Burt’s roller coaster has just been on one dip after another. His being bedbound poses a serious risk. Today we are expecting a visit from a nurse from VNS to assess the damage. We are treating two sores and the beginning of one on his butt cheek. Perhaps the nurse will have some added wisdom.Continue reading “A sea change”
this is our life 