Caregiving is the hardest job I ever had. Or, it was until Burt died and I suddenly had a much harder job. This, like my caring for him, is truly a labor of love. The work of missing Burt involves the pleasure of remembering him. It’s a consolation prize but not really a prize sinceContinue reading “Grieving the loss”
Tag Archives: #caregiving
Once upon a time
Recollecting Burt’s time in the rehab center today gave me a little relief although the memory was hard. The fact that I could affirm that I stood for him when he needed my protection felt good. The nursing home-rehab was not a good place. I would not have placed Burt there over the long haul.Continue reading “Once upon a time”
Falling
Some things I remembered this morning When Burt was in the rehab after a fall in which he broke a hip bone during a bout with Covid, he’d call me with an escape plan. He said we could meet by the front door and sneak out to go home. He’d wake his roommates yelling outContinue reading “Falling”
Morning musings
He falls asleep shortly after I feed him. While he eats, he has the penetrating look of a serious child. He chews slowly, with great deliberation. He grabs my hand, the one holding the bottle to his lips, when he drinks. It all breaks my heart. There is a picture of Burt at 16 sittingContinue reading “Morning musings”
A sea change
Burt’s roller coaster has just been on one dip after another. His being bedbound poses a serious risk. Today we are expecting a visit from a nurse from VNS to assess the damage. We are treating two sores and the beginning of one on his butt cheek. Perhaps the nurse will have some added wisdom.Continue reading “A sea change”
Speaking of gratitude
As I suggested to you, because it was suggested to me, it really helps us focus on the caring when we note at least one positive interaction with the one we love. I dare say, this is true in civilian life also but for us who are caregivers, it’s a monumental help. I had twoContinue reading “Speaking of gratitude”
The practice of care
Best practices include the care of our darlings but as caregivers we need to look out for ourselves. Care for the caregiver includes respite, a topic dear to me and upon which I have expostulated at length. Self-care can and should be done in the company of others. Spend time with friends. I have lunchContinue reading “The practice of care”
Best practices
One of my goals for this site is to offer guidance where I can. I want to list some ideas and tips that I have found handy on our journey. 1. Burt had some trouble vis a vis food early on. It worried me. I was feeding him lots of lemon meeingue pie and eggsContinue reading “Best practices”
Short bursts of energy
There’s a support group that «puts the I in caregiver« which I value for its honesty. It’s akin to the one urging us «to be selfish.« I take about 5 hours for myself each day. It’s a necessary indulgence. Let me try to explain what my time away does to benefit me. When I getContinue reading “Short bursts of energy”
It’s heavy
In my encounters with friends and acquaintances, I feel heavy. Physically, of course, I am. It is the sorrow I carry in my heart that makes me feel weightier. This, I think, at each conversation is not the gravitas I hoped to achieve. I have toned down the impulse to spill it all. I noContinue reading “It’s heavy”
