When I open the cabinet, there’s the espresso cups we got from drinking, sadly, bad coffee at Matto. Burt pleased me by going with me and suffering through a cup, then escorting me to the subway. I don’t remember where I was heading, but it was a lovely morning. This is pretty much the trainContinue reading “Reminders”
Tag Archives: #gratitude
Friendship
Inspired by an episode of IMO Burt had been my best friend in so many ways for the 30 years of our marriage before his illness. We shared so much. We went to lunch and we went to the theater. We even worked together. Listen to the IMO episode where Michelle Obama and her bigContinue reading “Friendship”
On this dreary morning
I awake to notice the slide show on one of my screens. I greet the first image with “Good morning, Burton.” The next with “I miss having you around, darling.” As the pictures go by, I tell Burt how I feel in his absence; that I miss holding his hand and kissing him. It’s aContinue reading “On this dreary morning”
Theater, or
Whatever favored activity I will make the case for theater as a healing art for those of us grieving a loss as well as it may be for a nation in crisis. Theater does not stand alone in its healing powers. Dance, you bopping to a tune while mopping the floors, or the variety youContinue reading “Theater, or”
More on that video
The combination of events, my uncovery of the video of Burt a day after our party for him, still tickles me. I am revisiting the occasion of our conversation, listening to it many times over. I also enjoy imagining it and retelling its script. It is rife with the essence of Burt. Chatty, relishing hisContinue reading “More on that video”
The reservoir
Today, I took a walk across the park for the first time in many years. It was inevitable that this trip would trigger memories of Burt and me. My path took me along the track by the reservoir, a route we had last walked together 8 years ago. I was pleased to be there withContinue reading “The reservoir”
Stages
The dawn is still beautiful. Is it allowed to be beautiful? Are there really stages of grief? I know there are because I have lived them once already. I am grieving all over for the same man I mourned before. My sorrow is not less now even though it is tinged with relief. I haveContinue reading “Stages”
2-25-2025 + 2
Burt just passed and yesterday was odd and aimless although I had things to do and did them. I miss Burt although saying it out loud is stating the obvious. A redundancy. I miss his aide. I miss the routine of our days. Back to the redundancy: I miss Burt. I told him I willContinue reading “2-25-2025 + 2”
So, what now?
I am aimless the day after Burt has left his body and his body has been taken away by the men from the mortuary. I visit the funeral home to fill out paperwork that will carry him away. Even further. Or carry his body away. I turn spiritual of a sudden. I know his soul,Continue reading “So, what now?”
My Burt
Burt looks through his intense old man’s eyes, with a seriousness that is touching. The look is fully reminiscent of the boy in him. Like that boy, he is sorting out the ways of the world. Conversations that draw simple and astonishing conclusions flow much of the day. He has lots of questions and gets manyContinue reading “My Burt”
this is our life 