Burt died at home. I’m glad I was able to take care of him at home for most of his struggle with LBD. Burt died at home, but I was not there at his moment of passing. Burt passed sometime between the moment I left home to walk to the gym and the ten minutesContinue reading “Forgive me”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Emotional logic
We like to think that we’re logical creatures but our minds belie this hope. Logic is buried in a web of emotions. Burt, it seemed, wasn’t aware that I went with him to the park on our weekend outings. I noticed this when I recapped the Sunday. We went to the pickleball court, I said.Continue reading “Emotional logic”
Grieving
At the recommendation of a friend, I started reading [aka, listening to] Geraldine Brooks’ Memorial Days. [I am rewarded for my new audio gal habit by listening to the author herself.] All those asides are beside the point. Brooks’ says early on that she did not grieve fully for her husband because society has devaluedContinue reading “Grieving”
What next
When that diagnosis of dementia comes, it’s natural to wonder how the future will look. Dementia is unpredictable, LBD perhaps a tad more so then Alzheimers, but all dementias are unpredictable. It’s hard to never be sure what’s in store for us. The uncertainty can be very disorienting for the caregiver. I also imagine thatContinue reading “What next”
Costs of care
The cost of taking care of a loved one with dementia is high. The American healthcare system is unlikely to be much help. Long term care insurance might provide the bandaid to expenses. I don’t know the cost to benefits analysis of buying this insurance; I didn’t have it. When your person gets ill, youContinue reading “Costs of care”
Burton, Burton, Burton
The journey
As Burt’s dementia proceeded, I noticed aspects of his character I had not noticed or paid attention to while he was well. These were not new; it was what he’d always had to offer. I just hadn’t noticed or paid attention to them before. His illness put me more in tune with him. Honestly, IContinue reading “The journey”
Back to the “from before”
Here’s the story of the picture [L] with the Blues Brothers vibe; I’ve shared this at length with A. who was curious about this photo in my pictorial. It’s a memory from the 2nd year that Burt and I were together. We were invited to party for Judith E’s birthday–who was married to Jim M,Continue reading “Back to the “from before””
Another picture book
Burt and I always were goers before his dementia stopped us in our tracks. Lately, my lament has been that we should have done more during his decline. Gone to dinner, taken more walks. In part, this is a wish, that if we did more, we could’ve made more memories. I’ve mentioned his expressed desireContinue reading
this is our life 