This writing prompt prompted me to consider what life was like during my journey with Burt and where it is now… Life after your spouse dies has a new landscape. When added into that structural change is the fact that you spent many years as a caregiver, well, that’s a now what moment. At leastContinue reading “What prepared me for my role as caregiver”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Burt’s watch
Burt bought himself a moderately expensive watch some twelve, 13 years ago. He was proud of how well he negotiated for his Hamilton; he loved and wore it even when it no longer kept time. [Let’s face it, by then Burt wasn’t much on keeping time. In fact, he’d lost most sense of time inContinue reading “Burt’s watch”
Friendship
Inspired by an episode of IMO Burt had been my best friend in so many ways for the 30 years of our marriage before his illness. We shared so much. We went to lunch and we went to the theater. We even worked together. Listen to the IMO episode where Michelle Obama and her bigContinue reading “Friendship”
Nearly 12,775 days
As I glance at the photo of our wedding, I say to Burt “That was the best day of my life.” It was, but actually, nearly all of the nearly 12,775 days I spent with you were the best. That day, May 1992, came after two years of getting-to-know-yous and adjustments. It was a lifeContinue reading “Nearly 12,775 days”
Peaches are good
There were other summers When it was enough to say’Peaches are good’ to makeIt a good summer. SummersPast, before, when you wereStill here, with me. SummersNot like this one, without you.This summer, I’m thinking ofHow much you would enjoyThis fruit of summer. Burt,The peaches are good thisSummer. This summer, I amMissing you. That’s not good.
A last goodbye
As I opened the envelope from Krtil, I held my breath. Inside was a certificate ascertaining the latitude and longitude at which Burt’s cremated remains were set into the ocean. I had dropped that paper into a drawer so quickly that it took me a full 24 hours for it to register. The “it” thatContinue reading “A last goodbye”
The parade
Are you the parade?, she askedNot in the parade or at the paradeIt was a tremendous responsibility Being the parade, she thought. Yes,She said. I am. The parade, she Added. Where are you?, she asked. WhereIs the parade, you mean?, she saidYes. I’m in Bayside, she answered.The parade, it’s in Bayside, near theWater. I mean,Continue reading “The parade”
Children
Craig Robinson and his sister Michelle Obama format their show, IMO, to answer a listener’s question. The issues deal with relationships and the focus is on mental health. The query, on this episode, has to do with waiting for the guy to decide about having children. A memory is triggered, as my memories of BurtContinue reading “Children”
Good advice
Some days, Burt is so intensely missed that I walk around in a miasma of loss. That’s on one day, and it’s fine. It is inevitable that that feeling will come or go or both at once. Today, I miss him but I’m digging into memories. With the memory the miasma lifts; I am notContinue reading “Good advice”
Depression
Too many losses this 4th of July. Burt is gone. The loss of him is so real, and permanent, and utterly devastating. While Burt was ill, I saw- out of the corner of my eye- my country dying as well. Since he’s been gone, I have been focused on a crumbling country. That’s what thisContinue reading “Depression”
this is our life 