I wonder, pretty much in vain, what drove Burt to take to his bed. It was definitely not an improved quality of life. He did have what he needed, food, drink, change of clothes. Health concerns crop up for the bedbound, such as tending to or preventing bed sores. We took care of those. RegularContinue reading “In the end”
Author Archives: therealtamara
Bedbound
Burt’s choice to stay in his bed wasn’t really a choice. I had noticed a decline in the two months leading up to those last two months. Friends who came to celebrate his 85th birthday said he seemed less engaged. After that birthday party, he went out for ice cream in his wheelchair for theContinue reading “Bedbound”
Falling
Some things I remembered this morning When Burt was in the rehab after a fall in which he broke a hip bone during a bout with Covid, he’d call me with an escape plan. He said we could meet by the front door and sneak out to go home. He’d wake his roommates yelling outContinue reading “Falling”
More on that video
The combination of events, my uncovery of the video of Burt a day after our party for him, still tickles me. I am revisiting the occasion of our conversation, listening to it many times over. I also enjoy imagining it and retelling its script. It is rife with the essence of Burt. Chatty, relishing hisContinue reading “More on that video”
Sorrow
Grief is not something you want to fix. I mean, I feel as if I am frequently trying to fix my saddness. It’s illogical. And not something I really want. Sorrow is an irrational passage. Grief is a process that like other life experiences yanks us in all directions and often doesn’t make sense. MourningContinue reading “Sorrow”
Flirty
Burt was not an extravagantly flamboyant flirt. He did it on the qt so he could keep plausible deniability. He wasn’t ashamed of his actions but he liked his flirtations under the radar. He always flirted, in a quiet what do you think way. Years ago, in what I’ve been calling the before, Burt toldContinue reading “Flirty”
Burt’s life
I did not prepare an obituary for Burt. Not even for the May 3rd memorial celebration of life. Who he was is laid out in the pages of this blog, even though you’re meeting him during his journey in illness. I have sprinkled memories from the before among my posts. Some of you knew himContinue reading “Burt’s life”
Where I went
I went to my 🤞penultimate 🦷appointment over a long haul.
Sadder
There will be days like these.. the line is from a rock n roll song. My mama said… it goes on… and it is only a caption, not the whole story. More to the point, those of us who are mourning know that there will be bad days and better days. Sad days and betterContinue reading “Sadder”
Artifacts
Recently when R and I were reminiscing about Burt, she said that when she started working with him, he always sat in front of the TV, planning shows for us to watch. He had been doing something like this for a long time. Before Lewy, he picked out our evening’s entertainment from the FIOS guideContinue reading “Artifacts”
this is our life 