I have mentioned Burt’s enjoying people as a highlight of his disease. He has grown more outgoing over most of the course of his dementia. During the first phase of his recent dip, he stopped engaging as he had. Part of this is because he doesn’t recognize the neighbors as he used. Lately, he’s backContinue reading “For some good news”
Author Archives: therealtamara
Showtime
It’s a great phrase and describes pretty well what it’s like when our loved ones rise to an occasion. They will interact with old friends as they might have before their disease came into our lives. I am not sure it’s really play acting as the term implies, however. I think it is a wayContinue reading “Showtime”
The battle continues
Here are some of the things Burt’s lost along the road our journey has taken: The construct of time. It is a made-up thing. He was right about that early on. He would say, “Why is it day or night?” Well, not so much right on that point. Time is a man-imposed measure, but natureContinue reading “The battle continues”
Another party
When we went to the neighborhood settlement house (as they used to be called) at Thanksgiving, Burt had an amazing time. Today, although he’s said he wants to go to every event there, Burt resisted going. We got ourselves organized for a good start by noon. He enjoyed the tea and tea cakes. He hadContinue reading “Another party”
It’s more than just the symptoms
In the beginning, I only saw the symptoms. I protected us from the damaging effects of his impulsiveness, poor judgment, and diminished cognition. When he was aggressive, I did what I could so he didn’t hurt himself, me, or others. I met his agitation with the “I’m sorries” I had learned from counselors easing meContinue reading “It’s more than just the symptoms”
At the start
When Burt first presented with his array of bizarre and unexpected symptoms, I simultaneously felt [that] “I couldn’t” and “I got this.” My current state of mind is very similarly disposed to having it both ways. Often, it looks like he’s also on the same page. “Got it” and “I just can’t.” After a recentContinue reading “At the start”
What’s changed
Our lives have been turned topsy turvy by Burt’s dementia. Lewy Body has no timeline, but it does twist time. Obviously, Burt has been changed by his illness. Not so obviously, so have I The question: How has my pwd’s dementia changed me? has a long answer. I so want to say I am aContinue reading “What’s changed”
Defiance
Burt is pretty much in his own world. As long as the hallucinations aren’t scary, I am told there’s no need for me to fret. Or medicate. We shall see. The multiple mes disturb and unnerve me. Other aspects are amusing. Burt tried to send me on an errand the other night. When I said,Continue reading “Defiance”
Mid night thoughts May 7th
It’s a pernicious disease that has outsmarted us both, and Burt and I are pretty smart. Lewy Body Dementia has made its wily way into our lives. I have been split into fragmented personalities some of them adored some abhorred others tolerated. Burt is never fully alone except when he dreams I have abandoned him.Continue reading “Mid night thoughts May 7th”
So many of us
Burt, in one of the many moments of uncertainty about who I am, “met” a woman in our living room. As is his wont on these occasions, he interrogated me thoroughly. There was nothing I could say to convince him he was talking to me, his actual wife. As he does with all the Tamaras,Continue reading “So many of us”
this is our life 