It’s far more relaxing to spin plans with Burt rather than struggle. Is it an effort? Creating some very peculiar scenarios can tax my imagination. It doesn’t try my patience as much as resisting his. Today, he’s both insistent that we take a train somewhere to get home and that I left him alone forContinue reading “Spinning yarns”
Author Archives: therealtamara
Throwbacks
This many years in, I have assured lots of precautions will keep us financially safe. And me in control. We have the requisite legal papers in place as well. Despite that, when Burt, in a flashback to earlier capabilities, said, “I’ve never lost money,” there was a little shiver of fear. He was urging investments,Continue reading “Throwbacks”
That’s just silly
Getting sillier is becoming a salvation. There’s some serious stuff going on. Of course there is. I need to rise to the occasion to combat the many ills that come with Lewy. I also need to find ways to smile and stay sane. If texting “Tony the tiger great” is an indication of the latter.Continue reading “That’s just silly”
Bitter Sweet
This is what I shared with a group of my fellow LBD spouses about our 32nd anniversary: It’s the anniversary we’re not celebrating this Friday. I am so glad we did have his 84th surprise party and my birthday with friends when he was able to engage and enjoy. Burt’s current downturn makes those recent celebrationsContinue reading “Bitter Sweet”
My gratitude journey: a tale of before
In reviewing the very unsatisfactory week we’ve had recently, my mind flashed back unbidden to days my love and I spent in the park. The memory was of a time long enough ago that there was no suspicion of dementia and illness. Burt wanted to take me to a spot where he had been inContinue reading “My gratitude journey: a tale of before”
That touch of spring
Last night Burt, thinking I was his (need I say deceased) mother said he was getting married to a girl from Carolina. He said his wife didn’t love him; she used to but it’s died out.Well, that did it! After a while, I fessed up to being his wife and said I was hurt. HeContinue reading “That touch of spring”
My gratitude journey
A few short months have passed since I thrilled at how well Burt was doing. He truly enjoyed his surprise birthday. That was in November when a group gathering to celebrate him was a very welcome experience. He made it through my birthday party in early February. It made his decline by the middle ofContinue reading “My gratitude journey”
Why, indeed
Atilla My Hon after his exertions (aka tantrums and unpleasantness) on an outing this afternoon. My struggles this Friday afternoon, facing a weekend alone with my cranky love, focus on figuring out why going out into a beautiful sunny day causes so much agitation. The agitation makes me fear for his safety and my abilityContinue reading “Why, indeed”
Who?
We were guaranteed that our LBD spouse wouldn’t forget who we are, but that’s a little complicated. Burt has such extreme Capgras that he asks me who I am many times each day. Also, he complains about the “other one” who forces him to eat. The syndrome is one in which your person with dementiaContinue reading “Who?”
His job search
Burt has obsessed about working for a while now. I was encouraged this morning when he seemed ready to relinquish his dream of a job. Like everything in our lives these days that didn’t last long. He developed a new interest in taking in laundry after that and conflated his cousin with the guy whoContinue reading “His job search”
this is our life 