Excellent piece of advice, that. It may have come from Teepa Snow, our dementia-whisperer. For me and perhaps you, if you are a caregiver to a pwd, it’s hard not to do for, decide for, control the experience. To my curiosity (and a touch of my being annoyed), Burt got ticked off while waiting forContinue reading ““Let them do the things they can””
Author Archives: therealtamara
If I had my druthers…
Today, I had an intensely isolated time to spend with Burt. It was cold and icy, weather conditions that kept his aide home. They also deterred us from venturing out. The short trip to the lobby – just to get out – had him grumbling over the cold. Preparations for that trip took so longContinue reading “If I had my druthers…”
Pre-existing condition
It’s interesting how many spouses of folks with LBD have noted that their pwd was extremely smart. The other often reported fact is a tendency towards anxiety (before it’s a symptom of the disease) or obsessive behaviors. From the oral histories, we can see or suspect a pattern. Some of these psychological ticks and quirksContinue reading “Pre-existing condition”
I’m a person too
In the midst of all the losses- Burt is distressed that he has no job, I took his money, everyone in his life feels they can boss him – he will say, “I’m a person too.” This plea for respect and dignity is in part complaint and in part a request. It never references hisContinue reading “I’m a person too”
While I’m on the subject
When I brought him home from rehab, I wasn’t sure if I had made the right decision for us. I was extremely concerned that I wouldn’t manage. Burt was still dependent on a wheelchair much of the time. I had limited help (it’s expensive, you know!) to weekdays for 5 hours. Except that first weekendContinue reading “While I’m on the subject”
Funny ? Story
The rehab center is also a warehouse for some of its inmates. It provides far from optimum care. I wanted Burt to be capable to move around once at home. To that end, I kept him there two and a half months. Until recently, he still complained to people that “they didn’t tell you whenContinue reading “Funny ? Story”
Rehab
Burt landed in a nursing center/rehab after a hospitalization for hip repair. I was there when he fell and like on other occasions when I was there but couldn’t say exactly what happened…. I had contracted covid and was on paxlovid and trying to stay away from him. I slept in the living room, butContinue reading “Rehab”
Early signs, or what did I miss?
Listlessness, which was unlike the active guy I knew, was a warning. One day, out of the blue, he forgot how to work the remote. He had been making and planning our TV selections for a long time. He took pleasure in following the guide on the set to decide what we’d watch. This inContinue reading “Early signs, or what did I miss?”
Early signs
I was inspired by Cynthia Malone’s journal Slammered to look back a bit. I am calling our endeavors a literature of grief. I couldn’t put Cindy’s moving account down until I finished reading.* Grieving is a normal response to loss and so we grieve even before the final separation. Caregiver Teleconnections offered excellent guidance forContinue reading “Early signs”
Getting out
The other Sunday, we prepared for an outing to pick up Saturday’s mail. Preparation included a trip to the bathroom, which involves pulling pants off and on again. Because Burt is always cold, a jacket is a requirement, as is his hat. Because Burt is always cold, the outside temperature made a real outing toContinue reading “Getting out”
this is our life 